Some Drivers Find It Easy to Put Divorce Behind Them

Deloris St. John of Laguna Niguel reports that her husband, Norbert, was at a carwash when he noticed a woman driving a Cadillac whose license plate said:

WUZHIS.

“My husband assumes that it applied to the car AND to her,” St. John added.

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GETTING EVEN: Divorces have been a boon to the vanity plate business in California. Aside from WUZHIS, plates also proclaim WASHIS, WUZHIZ AND WUZHIZZ.

But two can play that game. Others include WASHERZ, WUZHERS AND WUZHURS. Were they cars won by ex-hubbies in settlements?

Then there’s the plate WIFENO4. Is she the current wife? Or did she get the car when the husband moved on to NO5?

Who would have thought that the DMV’s Web site (plates.ca.gov) would contain so much soap opera material?

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FOOD AND PAIN: Yes, it’s not a pleasant subject but one that this column feels compelled to explore (see accompanying).

Harriet Ottaviano of Seal Beach found a building where you must be careful which door you enter, lest the wrong type of meat gets cooked or pounded. Paula McDougal of San Luis Obispo came upon a restaurant that must have a big turnover in chefs. And Joel Rapp of L.A. saw pain being blatantly advertised.

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THIS JUST IN: Whoops! I just noticed that Rapp snapped the sign in Europe and assumes it referred to the French word for bread.

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UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT: Donn Silvis, a Cal State Dominguez Hills professor, noticed that the parking receipt given out at Dodger Stadium has a section that says: “Mark the Area in Which You Park.”

Fine. But farther down, the ticket says: “TICKET MUST BE PLACED ON DASHBOARD.”

“The only explanation I can figure is the Dodgers want the car to know where it is parked,” Silvis said. “You’re on your own finding your way back to your car.”

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STUPID CRIMINAL TRICKS: I mentioned how youthful Southern Californians must look, inasmuch as signs at Edison Field of Anaheim warn prospective beer buyers that they may be asked for IDs if they’re younger than 40.

But there are limits. A man with a Social Security card applied for a California Identification Card at a DMV office in L.A. The Social Security card, however, was found to be registered to a man who was born in 1897, said L.A. Deputy Dist. Atty. Mark Vezzani.

And died in 1976.

The applicant was soon stepping lively to jail.

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MORE PLATE MOVEMENT: Irene Kennedy writes that she considered attaching her initials to her pro-USC plate. But, she says, “it would have read IRK4USC if I used my given middle name, which is Romette (someone long ago was into Romeo and Juliet!).”

So she settled for IK4USC. “The ‘I’ looks like a one so many people think it is ‘One Thousand 4 USC,’ ” she added, “but that amount won’t even buy good football seats.”

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OUT TO GET SOMEONE’S NUMBER? The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise carried this item:

“Seal Beach, June 1, Main Street, 10:21 p.m.: Two men with a telescope appeared to be watching people at an ATM, possibly trying to steal PIN numbers.”

miscelLAny:

Think you can fill Shaquille O’Neal’s pedals? Well, he’s auctioning off his custom-made bicycle for charity on the uBid.com Web site. The $25,000 machine was built to withstand his 7-foot-1, 320-pound frame, with pedals that will accommodate his size 22 tootsies. I’d make way for him in the fast lane of the San Diego Freeway.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.