NFL Talk Turns to L.A., but Message is Clouded

The last time the NFL owners conducted their annual meetings at the Breakers Hotel here four years ago, Ken Behring made his case for moving the Seahawks to Anaheim, saying it was necessary to leave Seattle for California to avoid the threat of earthquakes.

It’s a rich NFL tradition, of course, speaking and making no sense, but Monday it was Bill Bidwill’s turn to headline Comedy Central.

Bidwill, standing in almost the very spot Behring had occupied, looked befuddled. Obviously, this is not news, but the owner of the Chicago-St. Louis-Arizona Cardinals is telling people it might be necessary to move his team to Los Angeles because he’s running out of options in the Phoenix area.

It seems he can’t persuade the people of Arizona to approve using tax money to build a fancy football stadium for a team that has won one playoff game since 1947. It’s a tough sell. Given the median age of those living in Arizona, not everyone has the time remaining to buy into the Cardinals’ perennial chant of “Wait till next year.”

Bidwill is willing to chip in $75 million for a new stadium, but some legislators, who have been pushing to raise money for an education initiative, have had the gall to ask him for $170.5 million, and to relinquish stadium naming rights.

The Cardinals have let it be known that such terms are deal breakers.

It could be a tough decision for Arizona voters: Continue raising dumb kids or send the Cardinals packing to Los Angeles.

The Cardinals, anticipating a defeat in the state legislature, already have had discussions with interested parties in Los Angeles, and through a third party it has been suggested that Bidwill might be willing to sell a share of his team to L.A. interests.

At the risk of shortening those lines at the Coliseum box office, it should be noted that Bidwill would maintain controlling interest.

Coliseum backers, while not all that picky about who plays inside the old stadium, are expected to announce plans next week to open the selection process to pick someone to put together a deal to steal an NFL team for Los Angeles. Admit it, the sports pages just haven’t been the same without Mark Ridley-Thomas.

This undoubtedly will encourage Bidwill, thinking preparations are being made to welcome one of the worst football organizations known to mankind.

The worst football organization known to mankind, of course, is the Raiders, and the Raiders are convinced they will be playing in Los Angeles sometime soon.

This pits Bidwill against Al Davis with the winner--and aren’t they both winners?--getting Los Angeles.

A judge recently ruled that the Raiders must honor their lease in Oakland through 2011, but gave them the go-ahead to make a case for at least $850 million in damages. The Raiders have interpreted this as a great victory, believing county and city officials in Oakland will run scared from the prospect of losing so much money and will be willing to tear up the Raiders’ lease if they don’t have to pay damages.

This would free the Raiders to return to Los Angeles, raising the question of how many people would show up for that ticker tape parade?

Maybe both the Raiders and Cardinals will move to Los Angeles. Ed Roski could become minority owner of the Raiders, and Michael Ovitz minority owner of the Cardinals. Everyone would be happy. Mayor Richard Riordan could throw out the first ball at the Raider game, and catch it at the Cardinal game.

All this talk about L.A., however, perplexes Commissioner Paul Tagliabue. L.A. had its chance a year ago, when it was awarded a conditional expansion franchise, then blew it.

Forget about L.A., said Tagliabue:

“We have 45% of the nation’s population covered by our teams. If we substituted L.A.’s population for any one of our other cities, it wouldn’t change all that significantly.”

You dump the 97,000 frozen lugs living in Green Bay for the 13 million warm-hearted souls living in the Los Angeles area, and even those dumb kids living in Arizona would know that would change things significantly.

Keep in mind, these are tough times for Tagliabue. He is fighting to save his job after having been accused by NFL owners of maintaining a slush fund for him and his fellow top executives. As a result, he has lost interest in football in Los Angeles, which means he could move and fit in nicely in Los Angeles if he’s removed as commissioner.

But that leaves the Raiders and the Cardinals battling for L.A. on their own, unless someone can get to Georgia Frontiere, the reigning NFL queen, who deserves her due for building her team into a world champion. Just win, baby.

She has championship experience, and it’s not as if it would be unprecedented. One of her many husbands swapped NFL franchises years ago, which resulted in the owner of the Baltimore Colts becoming owner of the Los Angeles Rams.

So maybe the Raiders, or the Cardinals decide to move to Los Angeles. OK, so then Frontiere agrees to return the Rams and all their rich history to Los Angeles in exchange for the Raiders and Davis, or the Cardinals and Bidwill. That’s right, Bidwill gets another chance at St. Louis, and Los Angeles gets Frontiere, on top of the game right now like no one else in the NFL.

These are confusing times in the NFL hallways, but here’s a chance to send a message to the NFL owners, and cast your vote. Given this appealing trio, who would you vote for as owner of your new football team in Los Angeles? Georgia Frontiere, Al Davis or Bill Bidwill?

A word of caution. Writing in “none of the above” will only hurt Los Angeles’ chances of wooing the league’s favor and delay the return of the NFL.