Does Bugs Bunny Know What’s Up?
It seems to be open season on rabbits. Dan Fink of L.A. noticed they were on the menu of a San Fernando Valley restaurant--on Easter, no less (see accompanying).
And, as you’ve no doubt heard, Seal Beach is considering a request to shoot hundreds more that have been tearing up the golf greens and gardens at Leisure World.
Ironically, Seal Beach leaders also have talked of importing some critters that, to their embarrassment, are nonexistent in the area: seals.
I have the solution to both problems. Keep the bunnies and change the city’s name. There are so many possibilities: Rabbit Santa Margarita, Hoppington Beach, Bel-Hare. . . .
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A CURSE FOR THE KINGS: My thanks to all the readers who responded to my desperate plea for hexes to put on the Lakers’ playoff opponent, Sacramento.
The Kings were only able to defeat the Lakers twice in Sacramento, I’m convinced, because of pregame rituals in which they set fire to Lakers jerseys. Well, it’s payback time in L.A., baby!
And not a second too soon. If the Lakers lose tonight at Staples Center, their season is prematurely over. I’m sure the team will choose at least one of these suggested pregame rituals:
* “Run a jersey through a Staples shredder” (Will McInturf and Myrna Arnold).
* “Staple a Kings jersey to a Clippers jersey. If that doesn’t put the jinx on the Kings, I don’t know what will” (Frank McDonald).
* “Have Shaq use a giant bottle of White-Out to erase the Kings’ name off a jersey” (Lisa Ohlund).
And, finally, from Paul Ecker:
“Dress ex-Laker Dennis Rodman in a Kings jersey along with some high heels and fishnet stockings and have him stand in the middle of Staples Center.”
That would shake up the Kings!
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WHAT ABOUT RABBITS? In the Malibu Surfside News, Susan Tellem saw an ad for a garage sale that banned birds (see accompanying). Wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that one of the items at the sale was a microwave?
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NEIGHBORHOOD REPORT: Joe Roubal of Marina del Rey noticed a sign that seemed to say everything was OK on one street in Pacific Palisades (see photo). Not necessarily sensational, but OK.
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ALL MY CLASSMATES: Actor Phil Proctor, who’s appearing in Arthur Miller’s “The Man Who Had All the Luck” in Culver City, came upon a funny yarn about the playwright.
A 1950 column by Leonard Lyons of the New York Post recounted how Miller one day heard someone on the street calling, “Artie, Artie Miller.”
A man approached and said, “Remember me, Artie? Mike Rothman. We were classmates at Lincoln High School.” The man then asked, “What’re you doing now Artie?” and Miller told him he was writing plays.
“Ever get any produced on Broadway?” the man asked, and Miller said he had one running at the moment. “What’s it called, Artie?” the man asked, and was told, “Death of a Salesman.”
“Oh,” exclaimed the man, “you’re Arthur Miller then!” Miller’s classmate solemnly shook his hand and said, “I’m glad to meet you, Mr. Miller.”
miscelLAny:
I’d say I need a vacation except I just came back from one. Anyway, in my discussion of the Lone Ranger, I somehow misquoted columnist Dave Barry and reader Lloyd Peyton of Silver Lake. So let me start over.
Barry thought the masked man’s cry was: “Hi-ho, Silver, away!” And Peyton correctly pointed out that the L.R. said, “Hi-yo, Silver away!”
Oy!
My apologies to Barry and Peyton as well as the Lone Ranger and Trigger. I mean, Silver.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.