LAUGH LINES

State of Confusion: “Kind of embarrassing, [but] at a recent campaign rally, Al Gore’s daughter . . . mistakenly referred to Seattle as the capital of Washington. It’s Olympia. . . . George W. Bush was all over this. He said, ‘Even I’m not that bad with geometry.’ ” (Jay Leno)

Unexpected Guest: “In Washington, D.C. . . . Secret Service agents had to tackle a man who jumped the security fence and tried to get into the White House. . . . Police have identified the man as Ralph Nader.” (Conan O’Brien)

A Chilly Reception: “A hotel made of ice and snow will be opening in Quebec Jan. 1. It’s similar to a popular ice hotel in Sweden. Already, a thousand people are on the waiting list. Would you want to honeymoon there? That could make for the coldest honeymoon since Rick [Rockwell] and Darva [Conger].” (Daily Scoop)

The Completed Look: “According to People magazine, cosmetic surgeons say the most requested body parts--the one people most want--are Nicole Kidman’s nose, Sophia Loren’s cheekbones, Courtney Cox’s chin, Carmen Electra’s eyes and Angelina Jolie’s lips. . . . Which, if you add together, is the formula for Cher.” (Leno)

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