LAUGH LINES

To the Rescue: “The home of Silicon Valley pioneer William Hewlett . . . was seriously damaged in a fire. . . . Luckily, the 87-year-old billionaire . . . was rescued from a second-floor balcony. . . . He wasn’t injured--Anna Nicole Smith was there to catch him.” (Jay Leno)

Fired Up: “John Travolta reportedly wants to make some improvements to his recent movie ‘Battlefield Earth’ before it hits videotape. . . . So, apparently, he’s planning to take all the copies and . . . throw them into a huge bonfire.” (Andrew Wisot)

Spiritual Make-Over: “A statue of Moses that was sculpted by Michelangelo and located . . . in Rome will be restored for the first time in over 200 years. . . . The statue has become so pitted from environmental erosion, it’s become known as ‘Holey Moses.’ ” (Ira Lawson)

Reel Life Lessons: “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” starring Jim Carrey, “is a box-office hit at the theaters. This holiday movie has great educational value. After all, it is important for children to learn that not all fairy tales come from campaign headquarters.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.