Dodgers Play Fun Game of Bobbing for Manager

The baseball playoffs are being played elsewhere while the Bobsey Twins, Daly and Graziano, remain hunkered down at Dodger Central trying to determine if they should fire Davey Johnson.

At least that’s what they’d like us to believe.

The guys have seemed a little slow, but I’m guessing the in-depth conversation has gone like this:

“What do you think, Bob?”

“I don’t know, Bob, what do you think?”

At least it’s reassuring to know that Bob Graziano can fall back on his accounting background and Bob Daly on his movie experiences to make the best baseball decision for the fans of Los Angeles.

But if it has taken the Bobsey Twins this long to make it official, dismissing a manager who has already fired himself by saying he enjoyed his Dodger experience--and you know Daly’s going to need another vacation pretty soon--what are the chances of having a new guy in place by the start of next season?

I forgot. Kevin Malone has already talked to Kevin Kennedy.

Bulletin: This just in. Apparently, it has all been a charade. Sources say the Bobsey Twins were faking everyone out. They actually know what they’re doing and have done it.

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DALY IS ON record saying he’s a George Steinbrenner wannabe, but holy Billy Martin, it took him this long to fire his first manager? To date the only thing Daly has been decisive about is remaining absolutely indecisive or leaking his decisions to sources.

Speaking of Steinbrenner, how long do you think an insubordinate Malone would last in his employ? By the way, do the sources say anything about Malone’s future?

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OUR NATIONAL BASEBALL writer Ross Newhan has suggested that agent Scott Boras might be advising Daly, which would give Los Angeles two teams--the Dodgers and Lakers--being run by agents.

The way the guys have dragged their feet, maybe they need some help from the fans--people who really know about baseball--before calling Malone into the room.

Why don’t you tell the Dodgers what to do? Should Malone stay? Who replaces Johnson to return the Dodgers to postseason play?

If you wish to e-mail your advice, I’ll be happy to pass it along to the Bobsey Twins or the sources who can get it to them.

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KEEP IN MIND, Bill Russell is now available--having been fired Monday as a coach by the decisive Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

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THE OAK TREE MEET at Santa Anita opens today, and the early favorite for next year’s Kentucky Derby, Flame Thrower, runs Saturday in the $200,000 Norfolk Stakes.

Flame Thrower is owned by Gary Garber, who really can’t lose, no matter what the critter does.

In 1989, Garber was a passenger on a United Airlines flight that had its cargo door blow open. The man sitting directly in front of Garber, along with seven others, was sucked out the door. Garber, who owns a plastic manufacturing company, had half of his body hanging out the door before being pulled back by crew members.

Paid patrons to Saturday’s races will receive a free commemorative stein--the 14th in a series--depicting famous horses of the past. I’d settle for a little of Garber’s luck rubbing off on me.

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STUFFED ALREADY BY Laker forward Horace Grant? Do you think Portland forward Detlef Schrempf would have tried to hang around for another year if he thought he could win a championship ring with the Trail Blazers?

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THE CHARGERS ARE 0-5, and linebacker Junior Seau, the acknowledged leader of the team, delivered this stirring pep talk: “It can only get worse.

“Everyone says it can’t get worse. Well, no, it can. We have a schedule that isn’t favorable right now, and I’m going to let you know that.”

That ought to pack the fans in for Sunday’s game with Denver.

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IF I’M COACHING at Virginia Tech and I know my success is tied to convincing quarterback Michael Vick to remain in school another year, I’m taping the Charger game every week and showing it to Vick with the reminder that San Diego will probably have the No. 1 pick and make him Ryan Leaf’s roommate. I’m also asking Seau to have a little chat with Vick.

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IF IT’S A LITTLE after nine in the morning in L.A., it’s a given--you listen to Jim Rome on KXTA (1150), and I’m sad to report that I know who you should be listening to a little after six in the morning: Billy Ray Smith on XTRA (690).

The former Charger linebacker, who could be a pretty dull interview when he played, can really deliver when someone is paying him to talk. A master at keeping things in perspective, as he did as a player, he has a delightful self-effacing sense of humor, and the perfect educated-sports-fan foil to needle in John Fricke.

A good way to end the day, is turning down the TV to listen to Boomer Esiason and Matt Millen on the radio doing the Monday night football commentary. It may take two of them to provide the entertainment, but they’re doing exactly what ABC had hoped to do with Dennis Miller on TV.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Leonard:

“As a Dodger and Bruin fan, I appreciate your exhaustive work and study of what’s necessary to win Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and where to get them. By the looks of your picture, you’ve had no trouble getting your share.”

I was waiting for the Bruins to score first at home, but I thought I was going to starve.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address:t.j.simers@latimes.com.