So That’s Why the Left Blinker’s On

The once sleepy burg of Santa Barbara is considering the installation of cameras at intersections to stem an outbreak of red-light violators.

And who’s receiving some of the blame for the problem?

Why L.A., of course.

Santa Barbara News-Press columnist Barney Brantingham quoted one reader as saying that S.B. lost its manners “when L.A. moved in. That’s why we’re moving out.” But L.A. received a vote of confidence--of sorts--from another reader, who told Brantingham: “I lived in the L.A. area for about 40 years before moving to Santa Maria three years ago and I’ve noticed no difference between the idiot percentage in L.A. versus that in our often over-hyped ‘Central Coast.’ ”

If Mayor Riordan’s people are smart, they will adopt the latter endorsement for a new civic advertising theme:

“L.A.: Our Idiot Percentage Is No Higher!”

KEEPING L.A. DRIVERS ON THE ROAD . . . : Roger Beerworth found one L.A. automotive garage that has truly joined the age of specialization (see photo).

STRIPPING AWAY THE TRUTH: Mention was made here of some cooking instructions that included the puzzling sentence: “Cover and continue cooking 2-3 minutes, stirring continuously.”

Commented Craig Wright of Newport Beach: “To those of us who pay a cover charge to get into a strip club, this does not seem contradictory.”

WHAT A CONCEPT! Greg Duke, of Rancho Palos Verdes, came upon a carpet cleaner that is safe for . . . well, you’ll never guess (see photo).

AND I’M WORTH IT! Frank Antiporda, of Van Nuys, found a sign put up by a guy who believes in selling himself (see photo).

SEMINARS YOU WON’T FIND IN DUBUQUE: The West L.A.-based Learning Annex offers this three-hour adult extension course for $39: “How to Give a Great Interview.”

After all, as the annex’s catalog points out, “It seems like everyone is being booked for interviews.”

TALK ABOUT A NERVY BURGLAR: Fran Roberts spotted an unusual scene of the crime in the Daily Breeze newspaper:

“Los Angeles Police Department, 2175 John S. Gibson Blvd., San Pedro, between 11:30 p.m. Aug. 14 and 6:30 a.m. Aug. 15. Loss from locker: a blue bulletproof vest valued at $400.”

ODDS COUPLE: Variety columnist Army Archerd reports that the program for a recent tribute to Walter Matthau contained a contribution from the actor: his preseason line for the conference championship and Super Bowl XXXV.

Archerd didn’t make the odds public, which was probably a good thing for the average bettor. While Matthau was, of course, a very successful actor, he once estimated he lost $5 million gambling.

As Archerd said of the inveterate gambler: “Wherever he is, you know there’s a bookie.”

PRESIDENTIAL ICE CREAM POLL UPDATE: Sorry, I won’t be listing any flavors named after the candidates today. I started to go through the latest suggestions Tuesday but it was so hot I went out to eat an ice cream instead.

miscelLAny:

The slogan of the 49er saloon, near Cal State Long Beach, is: “When You Got No Class . . . “

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.