CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25
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1. Texas (0-0) Gore or Bush? Paper or plastic? Simms or Applewhite?
2. Nebraska (1-0) Team switches to South Bend-but-don’t-break defense.
3. Florida State (1-0) Shoot, dad-gum, golly geez, another player arrested?
4. Michigan (1-0) Team chef has 25 ways to cook Rice.
5. Wisconsin (1-0) Oregon bringing truckload of sneakers from Niketown.
6. Georgia (1-0) Just their luck: ‘Dawgs face red-hot South Carolina.
7. Miami (1-0) Players take Panama Canal shortcut on Carnival Cruise to Seattle.
8. Virginia Tech (1-0) Rankman thought Michael Vick showed a lot of zip against Akron.
9. UCLA (1-0) School says California state troopers will escort Toledo to Alabama next year.
10. USC (1-0) Trojans try to shake off worst bye week in school history.
11. Florida (1-0) Gators booed off field by fans and the coach.
12. Kansas State (2-0) Plan to follow the bouncing Ball State players this weekend.
13. Tennessee (1-0) Fulmer makes the A.J. Foyt-fast switch to quarterback A.J. Suggs.
14. Clemson (1-0) Coach may break off with daddy to form own two-school conference.
15. Ohio State (1-0) Win over Fresno State gives Buckeyes raisin d’etre.
16. Oklahoma (1-0) Sooners did the ‘ol Texas two-step on Texas El Paso.
17. Alabama (0-1) One more loss and DuBose’s morals become an issue again.
18. Washington (1-0) Miami defense needed flash-card drills to spell Tuiasosopo.
19. Purdue (1-0) Gratuitous TD passes vs. Central Michigan don’t pass Heisman muster, mister.
20. Notre Dame (1-0) Irish denied catastrophic game insurance by Mutual of Omaha.
21. Mississippi (1-0) Greets Auburn at the border with the Rebel yell.
22. Texas Christian (0-0) Team heads to Nevada with its own Comstock lode--TB LaDainian Tomlinson.
23. Illinois (1-0) In made-for-TV stunt, Ron Turner coaches Redskins this week; brother Norv takes over Illini.
24. Oregon (1-0) Booster Phil Knight mesmerizes Wisconsin players with tall “Air Jordan” shoe stories.
25. Colorado State (1-0) Seeking schedule upgrade, school drops Colorado.
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