Next Episode: Garofalo Hosts Search Party

While scanning the TV dial the other night, I came upon the local access channel where Huntington Beach Councilman Dave Garofalo was giving residents the lowdown on things.

It made me feel good to know I’m living in Utopia, especially when paying such affordable rent.

Garofalo was describing a city of heroic public servants, outstanding amenities and the nicest darn townspeople you’d hope to meet. Beaming with pride, I slept easy that night.

The next day, I whistled all the way to work, stopping once or twice to talk to Mr. Robin and Mr. Blue Jay.

At the office, however, I picked up the newspaper and read that investigators from the Orange County district attorney’s office had raided Garofalo’s home and business office the day before. A photo showed six of them carrying what looked like computers and boxes of stuff out the door. They reportedly were looking for evidence in their investigation into allegations that Garofalo violated conflict-of-interest laws while serving on the council.

Bummer. It was not a good Friday for Mr. G.

It occurred to me that such a situation might pose a problem for Garofalo. The segment I saw no doubt had been taped well in advance of the raid, but it got me wondering whether news of the raid would be included on his next appearance as the TV host.

Let’s hope so, but in keeping with Garofalo’s penchant for rosy portrayals of the city, you can imagine how it would sound.

As camera pans from parks to beach to new developments, Garofalo narrates:

“The city has miles and miles of beautiful parks, and our residential and business development is proceeding without us losing sight of what makes Huntington Beach unique.”

Camera now zooms in on private residence.

“This is my home, in the heart of Surf City. Those people massed on my doorstep and wearing matching jackets are from the district attorney’s office. Notice what a rich shade of blue those jackets are. Those are really fine jackets-- ones we can all be proud of.

‘Crossfire’ Meets ‘Cops’

“Let’s go inside the house. This is my bedroom, where I was soundly sleeping when the investigators showed up at 7 a.m. Talk about early birds! That’s what I’m talking about when I say our public servants are dedicated professionals.

“I was so impressed I asked if I could fix breakfast for them. A couple of them said, ‘Why not?’ and I whipped up some waffles for them faster than they could say, ‘Do you want to see our search warrant?’

“We had a nice time chatting. I told them about some of the things we’ve been doing in Huntington Beach, and they shared with me some fun stories about raids of other public office holders they’d been in on. I had no idea these folks were so busy. I was struck by how they could make me feel like a common criminal and still be so professional about it. I didn’t sense any personal animosity at all.

“I brought up the raid on former state Assemblyman Scott Baugh’s house in 1995. They didn’t want to talk about it, but I reminded them that a judge eventually dismissed the case because it was so weak. I made a note to myself to look up that judge’s name and maybe give him a call.

“In this next shot, you’ll see the investigators going through a lot of my personal files and papers. It may look ominous to you viewers, but I thanked them for it, because I’d been meaning to clean up the place for months. Again, this is nothing for any of you to worry about. If anything, we should applaud our district attorney for being so thorough.

“That’s about it from my house. I asked if they could stick around, but they said they had to head on over to my office to gather up more evidence. More power to them, I say. I asked if I could slip them a few bucks for their trouble, but they wouldn’t take it.

“Here we see them driving off and making their way through some of the great neighborhoods we have here in the city. That’s me waving from the porch. They probably didn’t hear me, but I told them I’d see them in court and wished them a nice day.

“Watching them go, I couldn’t help but feel good about things and wonder if, while scooping up all of my papers, they’d taken my passport.”

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at The Times’ Orange County edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com.