Someone’s Gotta Be the Official Party Pooper

Jason Byrne is no James Bond, but he might be a good candidate for the Secret Service now that he’s done some time keeping an eye on the first twins.

As head of security for Deep, Hollywood’s naughtiest nightclub, Byrne is used to catering to celebrities (such as Sandra Bullock and George Clooney) as they drink, dine and dance the night away. As if that weren’t time-consuming enough, club owner and best friend Ivan Kane gave Byrne an extra task this summer: presidential baby-sitting.

The British-born martial artist and military man has had the distinct duty of shadowing Jenna Bush three times and her sister, Barbara, once as they partied at the club with an entourage of about 20 friends. But Byrne’s mission is not to keep the 19-year-old sisters safe--after all, that’s what the Secret Service is for. Byrne, 31, is the official party pooper, agent in charge of keeping the girls away from all alcohol. The twins stopped in, real agents in tow, recently to celebrate the completion of Jenna Bush’s summer internship at Brillstein-Grey, the Beverly Hills entertainment production powerhouse behind “The Sopranos” and whose talent division represents Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

“They just happen to be the president’s daughters, but they’re really a couple of regular 19-year-olds,” Byrne said. “They’re kids like we’ve all been kids. My job was to make sure they didn’t violate any of the club rules or laws, but to do it in a low-key manner so they can enjoy themselves. When I was 19, I’d been drinking since I was 14. I’m English. But as much as the twins may have partied in Texas, they didn’t even attempt it in here.”

Although Deep is licensed as a restaurant and nightclub, which means minors are allowed to dine there, Kane prefers to keep everyone under 21 out “because it’s awkward. I would have to ask people to leave once the club opens, and that sounds kind of rude. This environment is not for kids.”

The Bush girls, Kane acknowledges, are “special because they got the hookup with the big guy.” Getting into Deep, everyone knows, is not easy. There are all sorts of guest lists; the NFU (which in a kinder, gentler world means “no messing up”) is for the most prestigious of VIPs. The Bush girls, jokes Kane, “are on the huge NFU list, the national security NFU list.”

Both girls were cited this summer for using fake IDs to buy alcohol in Texas. Jenna Bush’s driver’s license was suspended on July 6 and reinstated last week. To make Byrne’s job a little easier, the twins mainly party in one of the club’s VIP rooms, converted walk-in freezers from the club’s early incarnation as the Brown Derby. Jenna Bush, the “more outgoing and flamboyant” of the two, drank Red Bull, a highly caffeinated soft drink, while Barbara Bush drank nothing. When they hit the dance floor, where Deep’s erotic dancers simulate sex on top of the glass ceiling, Byrne was there like a reliable chaperone.

“It’s a little hard to tell the president’s daughters what to do,” Kane said. “But just short of President Bush giving me a presidential pardon, I wasn’t about to let under-age people drink in my club. And I didn’t ever hear from George Jr.”

What if the sisters were inspired by the club’s dancers to groove sensuously in the glass boxes behind the main bar?

“No!” Kane said. “That’s not ever happening. Now if President Bush wanted to dance in the box, that would be something. That would be a lot of money I could make off that picture.”