Dodgers, Angels Have Learned So Little

I love when I open The Times and see headlines that instantly make me think: unlimited comedy potential. This happened Tuesday when I saw the headline “Stoneman Might Have a Few Tricks Up His Sleeve.” Any Angel fan, of course, is familiar with Bill Stoneman’s bag of tricks:

1. Make the best players disappear/angry: The Angels, of course, are a team that wouldn’t trade Jim Edmonds for Mark McGwire, but did trade him for some guy named Kent Bottenfield (who later became Ron Gant), Adam Kennedy (hits like Ted) and a case of Budweiser. And Troy Percival is mad at the front office for publicly discussing his contract negotiations.

2. Sign other teams’ retreads in a last-ditch effort to fill out a semblance of a pitching staff: Ismael Valdes, Pat Rapp. Enough said.

3. Sit in winter meetings talking about trades to at least make fans think the team is trying to improve itself: The article mentions that Stoneman might consider trading Darin Erstad, another unhappy camper who hits only every other year anyway, to the Yankees for El Duque and Nick Johnson.

Let me help you here, Bill: Ever notice the Yankees seem to hold on to players they think can play for them? Why could you now get Hernandez, a pitcher who claims he’s 33 but is more likely closer to 40? Oh, here it is, he spent most of last year injured and barely made the postseason roster.

Heck, if the Angels had made this deal, they might as well sign Tino Martinez and Chuck Knoblauch. Think of the marketing potential: “Come see the 2002 Angels, now featuring players who have actually appeared in the World Series!” This could at least confuse the legions of Yankee fans that pack Anaheim.

4. Make claims team can win with talent it currently has: Yes, I too believe the Angels can compete with a Jason Giambi-less Oakland, but only if the A’s trade us Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder and Barry Zito for Jarrod Washburn and Disney’s California Adventure.

Angel fever: Watch out, it can be contagious.

Tom Cammalleri

Simi Valley

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Ross Newhan basically ripped the Angels in his Dec. 13 article for “usurping” Stoneman’s trade power by vetoing the Erstad trade. I say, bravo to Tony Tavares--finally he did something right.

Too bad he didn’t stop the Edmonds deal.

David Rodriguez

Rowland Heights

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Thank you for your excellent article in Thursday’s sports page on Rupert Murdoch. It validates what die-hard Dodger fans like myself have known all along about the Fox ownership.

It makes sense that Fox buys the team, trades its most popular player and future hall of famer, fires longtime front-office staff, ignores the club’s history, gives us Kevin Malone and Davey Johnson, creates massive payroll problems, etc.--just so they can win the local cable battle with Disney.

Murdoch and Eisner remind me of the two rich old brokers in the movie “Trading Places” who turn people’s lives upside down so they can win a $1 bet. I really loathe Murdoch and Fox now but will leave the Disney and Eisner loathing to Angel fans. I hope someone with local ties buys the Dodgers and saves us from the pain and misery of the past few years. Hey Casey Wasserman, are you listening?

Hovel Sarkissian

Pasadena