Widow Moved by Outpouring of Generosity

Sheila Marie Ornedo, heavy with child, is due to give birth in February. The Los Angeles nurse is alone this Christmas, preparing for her baby girl’s arrival without Ruben, her husband, by her side.

Ruben is the one who should be massaging her aching back, as he used to; picking her up from work at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and taking her out to dinner, as he used to. He should be helping to fix up the nursery, as he was going to.

But his death on the American Airlines jet that slammed into the Pentagon on Sept. 11 sundered their dream of a life together.

Yet, in her darkest moments, this 32-year-old woman says, “I feel blessed.”

She has found solace this December in an unexpected outpouring of gifts--poignant acts of private charity, including one from an unlikely source, some hard-core inmates at Pelican Bay State Prison. These offerings, she said, have lifted her spirits after they plunged to their lowest depths.

Letters to her unborn baby, who will be named Robin, have been written by Ruben’s co-workers at Boeing Satellite Systems in El Segundo, “telling her about what a good man her dad was,” she said.

One family from her church was so moved by her loss that they decided to forgo gift giving among themselves. Instead, they gave $1,500 to the young widow, a Filipino immigrant.

Children at her parish’s school have turned over their allowances. Her pastor, Father Charles Gard of St. Brendan’s Catholic Church near Hancock Park, has become her grief counselor, her rock. He presided over Ruben’s funeral only months after marrying the couple, whom he described as “giddy in love.”

Ruben, a UCLA engineering graduate, had rehearsed his marriage proposal for a week in Sheila’s native language, Tagalog, and then posed the question and offered her a ring while on his knees.

“His smile was contagious. I think that’s why I fell in love with him,” Sheila Ornedo said.

Wed at St. Brendan’s on June 9, they were still like honeymooners, she said. It was his passion to be near her that led Ruben to interrupt his Defense Department business trip Sept. 11 for a quick visit to L.A. instead of just remaining in Washington until his planned Sept. 17 return home.

In her sorrow, Ornedo said she has felt guilt over not forcing her husband to stay on and work. But this woman of faith said, “Who am I to question God?”

Gard, who is 39, the same age as Ruben was, said that nothing in his training prepared him to guide a parishioner from celebration to sorrow almost overnight.

“It makes you realize that we don’t belong to ourselves,” the priest said. “We don’t belong to our spouses, but we belong to God.”

Gard believes that the broader message in the gifts to Sheila Ornedo is simple: “We’re part of a bigger community.”

Prison Inmates Contribute $2,000

It was Gard who used his Sunday sermon to tell the story of the most unlikely gift: a $2,000 check from the Pelican Bay prisoners.

An inmate, Gard said, had read about the Ornedos in the Tidings, a Catholic newspaper, and took it upon himself to collect contributions from other prisoners.

“We feel bad that we were unable to collect more, but we hope that in some way you will find our donation helpful,” said an inmate’s handwritten note to Ornedo.

While families of the terrorist victims are expected to receive an average of $1 million in tax-free aid from a national fund, it is the gentle, heartfelt gifts that Ornedo said have touched her the most.

Pupils at St. Brendan’s School, an ethnically diverse elementary campus of 310 students, collected $1,500 from their allowances and gave it to her just before Thanksgiving. When Ornedo visited the school to thank them, students told her, “We want to know more about your husband.”

She gave them buttons with a smiling photo of him that say, “In Honor of Ruben Ornedo.” Many children still wear the buttons every day to class.

On Wednesday, when Ornedo stopped to see Gard at the church, he delivered another gift from a parish family.

Business executive Tim Wood, his wife, Sharon, and their three children decided as a family to give the money they would normally spend on Christmas presents to Ornedo.

“We agreed that this tragedy of 9/11 was more important than getting gifts that we really don’t need,” said Sharon Wood.

In lieu of presents, the family gave an inscribed card to their relatives, friends and teachers explaining what they were doing. The family also asked the others to donate to charity any money they might have spent on gifts to the Woods. And some are doing that.

A More Spiritual Christmas for Many

From Gard’s vantage point, this Christmas is a more spiritual time for many in his parish. “People realize what happened to Sheila can happen to anybody,” he said.

Ornedo plans to attend Mass on Christmas Day, then spend the rest of the holiday with her parents, brothers and sisters and their children at her Eagle Rock home.

She can’t stop herself from thinking about what her first Christmas with Ruben would have been like. It would have been the first time in years, since the death of his mother, that he was looking forward to the season with great joy. She also can’t bear the thought of having the baby without her husband.

“It’s going to be very difficult not having Ruben holding my hand,” she said.