Evans Should Try New Game: Fraud Man Out

In a perfect world, an unhappy Dodger season-ticket holder would file fraud charges, and then the authorities would haul off General Manager Dan Evans, passing him from precinct to precinct in order to lose the perp in the system the way they do on those TV shows to buy time--or in this case, to keep frustrated Dodger fans from being further duped.

I don’t know if it’s criminal to abuse the public’s trust, and frankly I’m not sure what the sentence is for premeditated deceit, but Evans should never again be credited with having any credibility.

It’s one thing to have a general manager like the Angels do, and no one pays any attention to him, but this guy is playing a con game, and so far it appears to be the only game he’s playing well.

You and I both know the Dodgers decided long ago not to deal with agent Scott Boras and re-sign Chan Ho Park, and yet Evans kept telling us differently, repeatedly saying the team had every intention of seriously pursuing Park.

That was interesting, because Evans was making no attempt to court, talk to or even return a phone call from Boras--let alone make a serious financial proposal to Park to return to the Dodgers. Maybe he figured Park would show up at the start of spring training and agree to pitch for nothing.

Why pretend there was interest in Park when in reality there was none? Was Evans trying to take the heat off his payroll-slashing assignment by misleading ticket buyers into thinking the Dodgers still intend to sign quality players like Park and remain competitive this season?

If Park had been asking for $20 million, as advertised earlier last season, no one would have questioned the Dodgers’ reluctance to sign him. But Park signed for $13 million a year with Texas--placing him between the $15 million a year going to Kevin Brown and the $11 million a year to Darren Dreifort--and I think most Dodger fans would agree that’s where Park belongs.

Do you believe Evans--who also tells us he’s not trying to shop Gary Sheffield--is trying to put together a team worthy of playing in a World Series, or a team preparing to be sold? I’m not interested in what he has to say, because I wouldn’t believe a word he has to say these days.

*

IT’S SMALL-print stuff in the newspaper, but the NFL’s promotion of Roger Goodell to chief operating officer to oversee all business operations leads me to believe Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is planning early retirement, and setting up Goodell as his replacement.

Goodell, who has made several NFL owners richer because of the stadium deals he has brokered, has spent a lot of time in L.A. and knows better than anyone the main players who might figure into L.A. getting a new team.

He’s an admirer and supporter of Casey Wasserman, owner of the Arena League Avengers, and former Dodger owner Peter O’Malley, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Wasserman and O’Malley emerge in a big way soon in a project designed to get a new football stadium built and have an existing NFL team, such as the San Diego Chargers, move here.

*

I WOULD imagine now that Park is going to Texas, his carry-on luggage will include Chad Kreuter.

*

I WOULD like to see the pay stubs of Times reporters Bill Shaikin and Jason Reid, who combined on a byline to write Friday, “The Dodgers guaranteed Nomo a relatively modest $13.25 million for the next two years.” Modest? I find that obscene.

*

THE ANGELS can’t seem to settle on what the New York Mets should give them for Mo Vaughn. I’d take a subway slug or two, and call it even.

*

LARRY STEWART noted in his column this week that USC Athletic Director Mike Garrett went on the Chris Myers and Bob Golic radio show to say, “I find it humorous when a guy says I am ducking him. Football teaches you that you do not run from people.”

I thought football taught most running backs--for survival purposes--to run away from people. Or to follow their blockers. I know when you call Garrett, associate athletic director Jim Perry always returns the call--the last time telling me Garrett will agree to talk if I promise to lay off him for a few weeks. I just took for granted Garrett was hiding behind his blocker when he wouldn’t agree to talk.

*

UCLA’S DAN Gadzuric made 16 of 21 shots in the state of Washington, scoring 43 points in two games. Obviously, Coach Steve Lavin is working with him.

*

WOULDN’T IT be a hoot if the Clippers make the playoffs, and late in the season the Lakers are positioning themselves to avoid meeting the youngsters in the first round?

*

TIMES REPORTER David Wharton noted that USC quarterback Carson Palmer was happy to return to practice after losing $150 in Las Vegas. I would have taken the 13 points and the Lakers to crush the Grizzlies too. We won’t know how much Wharton has lost, of course, until he turns in his expense report.

THE YANKEES are in a class by themselves, which explains why they can afford to sign F.P. Santangelo, and not get hurt.

*

THE CLIPPERS delivered a tin of cookies to our home for the holidays, and the grocery store bagger finally made himself useful, accepting his assignment as food tester without complaint. We’ll see if he’s so agreeable when the Dodgers’ gift arrives.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Beth Mansfield:

“I love Chick Hearn and after reading your column, I think you actually love Chicky-Baby, too. But stop being nice--you’re freaking me out.”

Buzz off.

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.