Making Light in Blackout Country

After moving from El Segundo to the Bay Area, Frank McDonald applied for car insurance from a local company. One of the questions on the form was, “Do you ever suffer from blackouts?” McDonald asked the agent, “Does this include rolling blackouts?”

P.S.: The company issued the wisecracking McDonald a policy anyway.

ON THE ROAD: Daniel Connelly of Santa Ana sent along “the picture story of a pleasant interlude my wife and I had in England--all due to a great road sign” (see photo).

DINING GUIDE FOR THE DARING: Today’s selections (see accompanying) were offered by Steve Done of Riverside, who found a sauce that would also qualify as a dressing, and Marilyn Arnold of Simi Valley, who spotted a cake that is poinsettia-free.

Wendy Mollett of L.A., meanwhile, noticed a job opening for a sales person who, oddly enough, is also expected to cook Chinese.

NO LONGER A HANG-UP: You may be old enough to remember when the phone companies used to complain about people calling directory assistance. I remember one 411 recording that tried to make you feel guilty by beginning something like this: “Thank you for checking your directory first.”

Of course, back then information calls were free. Now the phone companies can charge for them. Which would explain a current Pac Bell billboard encouraging people to dial directory assistance. “You’re not lazy,” it says. “You’re a convenience enthusiast.”

And you’re real subtle, Pac Bell.

TO LIVE AND DRIVE IN L.A.: Crossroads, Southern California Rideshare’s publication, offers these hints that you’re spending too much time in your car:

* You tell your kids to buckle up at the dinner table.

* The floor mats in your car all say “Welcome.”

* Dipping into your savings means raiding the coins in your ashtray.

* Your alarm clock is your car horn.

* You’d like to settle down--if you could just find the right mechanic.

* Your idea of a club is an auto theft device.

* You’ve hooked up cable--in your car.

CRYING FOWL: Writing about the Bob Hope Chrysler golf tournament, Wall Street Journal columnist Frederick Klein lamented that “the bar for celebrity status seems lower than it used to be, golfwise.” Surveying the entertainment types playing alongside the pros in the Palm Desert pro-am, Klein said: “Do you know who Richard Karn, Thomas Gibson, Rick Dees, John O’Hurley, David James Elliott or Kevin Sorbo are? I had no clue.” No clue about Rick Dees? Sure, the others are just TV actors. But Rick Dees? How could Klein have forgotten the man who recorded that anthem of the ‘70s, “Disco Duck”?

miscelLAny:

To get you in the mood for tonight’s Grammys show here--if the “Disco Duck” reference didn’t do it--a Marina del Rey reader offers this police log item out of Paradise, Calif.:

“Person on the 900 block of Wagstaff heard someone yelling. Thought it was juvenile male yelling, ‘No, no, no.’ Contacted resident. Determined noise was woman singing to music.”

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

in Blackout Country