So You Don’t Have to Be Married to This Game

As I ponder this bizarre Jeff Trepagnier situation at USC, in which he had to get married to play basketball--I marvel at how things have changed.

The details are fuzzy now, but I remember many conversations, well, maybe they were passionate talks, with my wife-to-be some 30 years ago about waiting.

I remember I was kind of overmatched at the time too, what with my wife-to-be, her mom, her dad, my mom and my dad all saying the same thing: “You don’t want to have to get married, now do you?”

So I waited. And waited. I remember it as being a very long time. That memory is very vivid.

Dummy me, of course, because if I knew then what I know today. . . . I mean, where was USC basketball Coach Henry Bibby when I really needed him?

To read Bibby’s comments, he makes a compelling case that it’s a good thing to have to get married or, at the very least, something you should do if it will get you ahead in life.

And here I thought I had come up with every kind of argument.

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NOW THE WAY it has been explained so far, the only way the USC senior guard could regain his eligibility in time to play in the Trojans’ first conference game last Thursday was to run off to Las Vegas on Wednesday and get married to USC sprinter Malika Edmonson.

Just your normal NCAA shotgun wedding . . .

“He did what he had to do for his career,” Bibby told the Orange County Register. “You could call it a career decision.”

Oh, and “I’m sure he loves his girlfriend dearly too,” he said.

Details, details. As if true love matters in this case. I’ve been told now that the two have shared a bank account for some time, which makes it amazing they weren’t divorced before they got married. And they tell me the young man has the name of his wife tattooed across his stomach, so how could he ever marry anyone else, unless her name was Malika?

The NCAA, though, is old-fashioned and wants to see that piece of paper.

And it made no difference to the NCAA that Warren Edmonson had himself pegged as Trepagnier’s future father-in-law, a man so confident that his daughter would get hitched that he agreed last summer to co-sign a loan for a 2000 Cadillac Escalade with a manufacturer’s suggested retail price of $46,925.

The NCAA also didn’t like it that Barbara Edmonson, Malika’s mother, was working as a part-time track coach at USC, making her a representative of the institution that would benefit from the play of Trepagnier.

Once the kids were married, however, Barbara and Warren officially became relatives, which made co-signing the loan all right with the NCAA.

I think it would have been a nice touch if Trepagnier had carried his new wife across the foul line before Thursday’s game.

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STILL, I HAD a problem with Bibby, the matchmaker, until talking to him late Monday. After reading his published remarks, I thought he endorsed this union of convenience to help his team, which seemed like strange behavior for someone representing an institution of higher education.

“I’m here to support the kid’s decision because it’s what the family wants to do,” Bibby said. “You have to look at who [the NCAA] prompted the kid to [get married]. Some people think getting married under any circumstances isn’t a good thing. I’m not going to comment on that, but I enjoy being single.”

I have no comment either, or I might have to enjoy being single.

I would like to know, however, why a college senior needs such a car?

I have a wonderful 1993 Ford Escort--I’ll sell it cheap--and there’s no concern about anyone suggesting I’m a friend of the university.

“I don’t know why he has the car he has. Lots of kids, even high school kids, are driving around in cars like this in L.A.,” Bibby said. “I’m sure he doesn’t need it, but there’s lot of peer pressure. . . . But whether it cost him $5 or $50,000, if any other kid did this and got someone to co-sign, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it’s a big deal [for the NCAA] because he plays basketball.”

But how does a college senior--prohibited by the NCAA from taking an outside job--pay for a $46,925 car?

That’s why my daughter drives a 1993 Ford Escort.

Why would a future father-in-law allow his future son-in-law to buy a $46,925 car, and then place himself in the position of making those payments?

I wouldn’t help my future son-in-law with the purchase of a bicycle.

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IT’S STILL A crazy, crazy deal. I mean Trepagnier is old enough to fight for his country, old enough to vote, old enough to get married and smart enough to make it into his fourth year at USC, but Bibby, saying he’s just doing what mentor John Wooden would have done, hasn’t allowed the groom to talk.

Well, that’s not true. He didn’t stop him from saying, “I do.”

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NOW THAT Rick Pitino has left the Boston Celtics, rumors have him becoming the new coach at Indiana, Nevada Las Vegas or UCLA.

How crazy is that? UCLA already has a coach.

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I JUST REPORT the facts: During the TV broadcast of the Clippers’ victory over the Lakers, Ralph Lawler suggested the end of the world is coming: “I think [Alvin Gentry] has outcoached [Phil Jackson].”

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JUST IMAGINE Keyshawn Johnson and Freddie Mitchell on the same team.

Never mind. I forgot that Shaun King would be throwing the ball.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Dave Welborn:

“As a journalism major here in L.A., I am embarrassed for the profession I love after reading your column this past year.”

If you’re a journalism major, you need to get your facts straight. You could only have been embarrassed for five months and 22 days.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com