There’s a Very Big Reason Kings Aren’t Digging Scene

There’s a place for them, somewhere a place for them . . .

And the Sacramento Kings can tell you just where it is too, some 300 miles to the north, nestled in the San Joaquin Valley, where they don’t need noise machines to get fans to cheer, where everyone roots for them, where Pacific Gas & Electric is more popular than Phil Jackson.

And if Arco Arena is tied up, the Kings would settle for Death Valley, or outer space. Anywhere but here.

The Staples Center isn’t working out for them, not after getting walked on by Shaquille O’Neal in Game 1. revamping their defense . . . and getting walked on by O’Neal again in Game 2.

“When a little guy faces a big guy, he’s got to get his punches in,” said Chris Webber afterward. “He can’t sit there and take the big guy’s punches.

“This is the real deal. This isn’t a church league. This is a war. We have to be the aggressors . . .

“I’m definitely disappointed in our effort. When I leave this series, I’m going to be able to say I left everything on the court. I hope all of us can say the same thing.

This time, the Kings were really supposed to be double-teaming O’Neal, after a token effort at it in Game 1.

In Game 2, they still doubled so slowly, Jackson concluded that must be their strategy, playing everybody honestly and hoping to choke off the Rick Foxes and Derek Fishers.

“I would never disagree with Phil,” King Coach Rick Adelman said. “He knows the game inside and out.”

Before the series, the Kings played the part of willing, even eager participants.

Protocol, not to mention macho, demands that one display one’s fearlessness, even if one has to pretend. Thus reserve forward Lawrence Funderburke announced “We wanted to play the Lakers. The appeal. L.A. The scene.”

And Bobby Jackson declared, “It’s something we want and the whole organization wants.”

Of course, if the whole organization had a choice . . .

“Let’s face it,” said personnel director Jerry Reynolds before Game 2, “the Lakers won the world championship last year, they won 67 games, they beat us--and there’s a lot of people who feel that May 8 this year, they’re better than May 8 last year.

“You definitely say, ‘Gee, it’d be nice if Sacramento could be in the East.”

“But it’s not just a problem for our team. There’s a lot of other good teams in the West.”

The exact dimensions of their biggest problem is 7-feet, 350 pounds, which is what O’Neal goes, give or take five or 10 pounds . . . either way.

Having seen him go for 44 points and 21 rebounds in Game 1, against what looked like straight-up, man-to-man defense, the Kings revealed later they were supposed to have been double-teaming. Of course, if they hadn’t revealed it, no one would ever have guessed it.

“We can’t imitate Shaq in practice,” said Adelman between games, “so until you get in there and our big guys see what he’s doing . . .

“But it’s not a total reversal of what we wanted to do. There’s no way we wanted to play him one-on-one. But it looked like it because he got such great position that you couldn’t come down on him.

“He got 11 offensive rebounds. I mean, he was such a force, it may have looked like that but it certainly wasn’t anybody’s intent. I mean, I’m just a little bit smarter than that.”

The Kings are a lot better defensively than they used to be--but all that means is that some of them (Peja Stojakovic, Doug Christie, Bobby Jackson) play some.

The rest of them are pretty casual. Nor is defensive game planning what the Kings do best collectively.

The first time O’Neal got the ball Tuesday, Christie, looking around to see who was supposed to double O’Neal, saw no one interested, so he stepped up.

Unfortunately, Christie had to abandon the man he was guarding--Kobe Bryant--who strolled down the lane, took a pass from O’Neal and banged a dunk try off the rim.

So O’Neal just picked up the rebound and scored, illustrating yet another of the Kings problems. By halftime, O’Neal, who had 11 offensive rebounds in Game 1, had seven more, to go with his 22 points.

The drama didn’t last much beyond that. Having blown a 10-point lead they took in the first period, the Lakers opened the second half with a 27-12 run.

At 70-54, Jackson missed a free throw and Webber gathered his teammates on the line, to urge them to keep playing.

In the fourth quarter, Adelman dispensed with his center and let Webber try to defend O’Neal.

Next: Bobby Jackson?

At least, it won’t be here. For the moment, the Kings will settle for getting out of Staples Center alive.