Without Captions, We All Get the Picture

Jerry Greene in the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel: “Al LoCasale has been Al Davis’ administrative henchman for decades. Maybe it was a reward from Big Al that Little Al was given the task of choosing the photos for the Raiderettes 2002 calendar.

“‘We started with 2,000 slides, trying to pick out the most beautiful. I let the pictures talk to me.”’

Did you talk back?

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Trivia time: How many shutouts have been recorded in the USC-UCLA football series?

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No room for error: Brooklyn Poly Prep’s football team isn’t striving for perfection because it already has it.

I-Perfection Harris is one of the school’s running backs.

“His mother named him for great things,” a school administrator said.

What is his nickname? Could it be Perfect?

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Ambidextrous: Dan Barreiro of the Minneapolis Star Tribune recalls that, after being drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves in 1991, Luc Longley was the only player known to have blocked his own shot in a game.

“Yes, who can forget the moment when Longley attacked the basket with the ball in his right hand and, as he was about to put it on the rim, swatted it away with his left.”

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Enough! The recent ARCA stock-car race in Atlanta was called the “Pork the Other White Meat 400.”

Said Paul Newberry of the Associated Press:

“What’s next? Bounty the Quicker Picker-Upper 500? Like a Good Neighbor State Farm Is There Grand Prix?”

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Don’t be like Mike: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “After missing his first 14 shots and 21 of 26 overall [recently], Michael Jordan said it was ‘probably one of the worst shooting nights of my career.’ Probably?”

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More Geracie: “‘Hicks, like Steinbrenner’ is 1) the beginning of a sentence comparing the Texas Ranger owner to the Yankee boss or 2) the beginning of a declarative statement marred by a needless comma.”

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Cap con: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle:

“Baseball should just erase the cap logos on Hall of Fame plaques. The cap has become a cash cow and political tool for future famers. Roger Clemens says he’ll probably go into the hall wearing a Yankee cap.

“Sorry, Bosox fans, about those 13 seasons you supported the big lug.”

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More Ostler: “The Dallas Mavericks have 13 assistant coaches, plus rebounding consultant Moses Malone. Talk about layers. That’s not a team, that’s a lasagna.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1898, USC lost to Los Angeles High School, 6-0, at Fiesta Park in L.A.

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Trivia answer: There have been 10, six by USC and four by UCLA, including a 0-0 tie in 1939.

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And finally: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Call it what you will, but whatever you do, don’t call the game they play at Coors Field baseball.

“How different is it up here? Consider this: Three of the top five triples leaders in the National League were Rockies. And two of them--Juan Uribe and Neifi Perez--played partial seasons.”