Bruins Have No Reason To Go Bowling

It’s a simple, two-letter word.

Nancy Reagan got huge mileage out of it.

Once, seated on the bench in the critical moments of a basketball game, Scottie Pippen said it to Chicago Bulls’ Coach Phil Jackson. Mark McGwire used it on the Angels and Darva Conger dropped it on her television hubby, on her honeymoon.

Shoot, had DeShaun Foster thought of it, this column wouldn’t need to be written. The word is “no,” and UCLA should repeat it like a mantra to men wearing loud jackets. UCLA has lost four consecutive games after a 6-0 start, yet has been bowl eligible for weeks.

The Bruins would improve to 7-4 with a victory over Arizona State on Dec. 1, a record that would look good in South Bend right now. But, win or lose on Dec. 1, UCLA should elect to stay home for the holidays.

A bowl game is supposed to be a reward for players, not additional days tacked onto a jail sentence. There is no law stipulating a team must play in a bowl game--Notre Dame used to routinely turn down offers--and there are plenty of reasons UCLA should not play.

First, let’s consider what bowls we’re talking about. UCLA has played itself out of all Pac-10 affiliated games, so the Bruins would have to latch on as an at-large team in either the Humanitarian or Silicon Valley bowl. When Coach Bob Toledo dreamed of leading his team to a bowl game involving chips, we’re pretty sure he was thinking tortillas, not computers.

The most likely scenario has UCLA in the Silicon Valley Bowl against Fresno State. We’ll put this as delicately as possible:

WARNING!!

DO NOT ENTER!!

DANGER ZONE!!

APPROACHING TRAIN!!

You talk about no-win propositions, or, perhaps you’ve forgotten the 1992 Freedom Bowl? USC thought that game against Fresno State might be a reward for its players, too. Yet, the 24-7, gut-punch suffered still reverberates in the program and serves as the classic bowl-game cautionary tale. USC hasn’t played Fresno State since.

Fresno State versus UCLA is a good game only for Fresno State. Pat Hill, the Bulldogs’ coach, has been accusing Pac-10 schools of dodging his team all year and would only use bowl week to fan his propaganda. Besides, Fresno State is a better team and might beat UCLA by two or three touchdowns.

You say, how could UCLA walk away from all that bowl money? Well, we’re not saying the Silicon Valley’s $750,000 payout isn’t a lot of dough, but we’re guessing it wouldn’t cover expenses even if Bruin players piled into Foster’s SUV and drove to San Jose.

Humanitarian Bowl?

Spare us the tissues, please.

That bowl game is staged in Idaho, on blue artificial turf. Somehow, we don’t imagine indigo is the right mood for UCLA’s psyche these days.

Reward?

The real reason most coaches embrace mediocre bowl games is to take advantage of additional NCAA-sanctioned practices. UCLA, though, has gotten worse with practice this year, to the point Toledo called off drills this week.

More practice time only allows more opportunities for additional revelations to leak out about the program. How many more dark secrets have yet to be revealed? You picture Toledo addressing his team at the team’s first Silicon Valley bowl practice: “Anybody else have an outstanding warrant I should know about?” UCLA needs a bowl game this year like college football needs another bowl rep in a cheap suit. UCLA ought to shut this season down, ASAP, and do what wounded Bruins do: Lick their wounds.

Pac Bits

For those wondering why the BCS released Stanford from at-large consideration this week and not Washington and Washington State, we offer this explanation. Although Stanford (7-2) is No. 9 in this week’s BCS standings, it has been aced out of the BCS by circumstances. The Cardinal has two nonconference foes left, Notre Dame and San Jose State, but can finish no better than tied for second in the Pac-10 with Washington and Washington State.

The problem: Stanford lost to Washington and Washington State, leaving it behind in the Pac-10 pecking order. It’s the reason the Holiday Bowl has already made a tentative offer to Washington and the Sun Bowl has done the same to Washington State.

This might not be fair, considering Stanford could finish 9-2 and as high as No. 7 or so in the BCS, but that’s the bowl business. Had Stanford defeated either Washington or Washington State, it would have clinched a Fiesta Bowl berth or better. Stanford is now locked into the Seattle Bowl, which is quite a drop. Neither school nor bowl wants to make this game, but both will have to grin and bear it.

The Seattle Bowl, formerly the Oahu, was hoping to snag one of the Washington schools because it needs to put people in seats. The bowl’s contract with the Pac-10 expires after this season and the conference is basically pitting the Seattle and Las Vegas bowls against each other to see which will get the conference’s No. 5 game next year. The Insight.com Bowl joins the Pac-10 lineup next year, taking the No. 4 spot once held by the Aloha Bowl, which went aloha.

More on bowls: The BCS did not release Washington and Washington State because it had to protect itself in the longshot chance Oregon has to vacate its Fiesta Bowl berth to play for the national title in the Rose Bowl. In that event, the Fiesta could consider Washington or Washington State as a replacement.