THE TIMES RANKINGS

Chris Dufresne’s Top 25 college rankings and comments:

1. Miami 2-0 Grab the kids and some couch and watch Miami whip Pittsburgh tonight.

2. Texas 3-0 Schedule sometimes makes you think team motto should be switched to “duck ‘em horns.”

3. Oregon 3-0 Namath and Montana wonder: At what point does Harrington drop the “y” from Joey?

4. Florida 3-0 Grossman throws for 300 yards and four touchdowns and Spurrier still isn’t happy.

5. Nebraska 4-0 How about you call us when Oklahoma comes calling Oct. 27.

6. Oklahoma 3-0 Hasn’t played a game in so long we almost forgot school’s catchy fight song.

7. UCLA 3-0Shucks, if the Bruins could just find an offense to go along with that great D.

8. Fresno State 4-0 Baby you can drive my Carr, beep beep and beep beep, yeah.

9. Virginia Tech 3-0 Gulp, Rose Bowl-bound Hokies have outscored three opponents by 133-10.

10. Washington 2-0 Huge loss of TE Jerramy Stevens means team only beats Cal, 52-14.

11. Kansas State 2-0 Let’s see the Wildcats try to run it up this Saturday at Oklahoma.

12. Georgia Tech 3-0 Team seeks court order to play Florida State “without further delay.”

13. Tennessee 2-0 Hey, Louisiana State, we haven’t forgotten 38-31 OT loss last year.

14. Louisiana State 2-0 Enjoy that poll spot while you can, Vols, cause we’re about to pull rank on you again.

15. South Carolina 3-0 Does Lou Holtz know something we don’t about coaching football?

16. Florida State 2-1 Not a memorable week for the Bowdens: Bobby, Tommy or Terry in the studio.

17. Oregon State 1-1 Good morning, Beavers. This is your late September, UCLA’s coming, wake-up call.

18. Northwestern 2-0 The Big Ten title is there for the taking. Now, go ahead and take it!

19. Brigham Young 3-0 Long layoff could cut Cougar offensive production to five or six touchdowns a game.

20. Stanford 2-0 Rankman thinks AP voters fell asleep on couch before big Cardinal victory scrolled across screen.

21. Michigan 2-1 Team wants to know if it can use last year’s refs for game with Illinois.

22. Toledo 3-0 Jamie Farr says this is the biggest story to hit town since the Mudhens.

23. Illinois 3-0 Notice served: Turner miffed at players taking cheap shots on QB Kurt Kittner.

24. Michigan State 2-0 Probably getting way too much credit for beating up on poor ol’ Notre Dame.

25. Mississippi State 1-1 Ban on cowbells in Starksville could cost team three to four decibel points a game.