Gruden Is Giving a Crash Course in Football

Gary Shelton of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times on the accelerated pace of Jon Gruden’s first practice Friday as the new coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers: “It was loud, and it was fast. Chucky was playing at fast-forward, running his players from drill to drill, play to play, as if he were intent on cramming three hours worth of practice into two hours on the field ...

“It was like a punk band playing instruments as fast as possible, and every coach seemed to have something loud to say to somebody along the way.”

*

Trivia time: Tiger Woods won the Masters last year and in 1997. What is his worst finish in the tournament in five professional appearances?

*

All action, no talk: Chicago Cub Manager Don Baylor commenting to Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune on Sammy Sosa: “Until you’re on the inside, you don’t see how he goes about his job every day. If he plays to the crowd, so did Muhammad Ali. But he backs it up. He doesn’t talk about it. He’s not that big, loud voice in the clubhouse. He does his actions on the field.

“If he strikes out, he’s that much more determined the next time. He doesn’t pout. He’s back up there grinding it out the next at-bat. And that’s hard to find.”

*

Rioting etiquette: The joyful rioting in Maryland that followed the Terrapins’ victory in the NCAA championship game is nothing new in College Park, Md.

After a November football game, another Maryland riot led the school’s humor magazine to run a flippant article titled, “Campus rioting tips.”

The advice included: “When you’re tearing down traffic signs, make sure to leave a few behind. Otherwise, how will the police find their way to the riot site?”

*

Make it more: Fred Mitchell in the Chicago Tribune: “Harry Caray’s restaurants, located in Chicago and Rosemont, will give $1 million to a randomly selected fan if the Cubs win it all.

“Actually, the current Las Vegas odds of the Cubs winning the World Series are better than usual at 6-1, according to Caesar’s Palace spokesman Lou D’Amico.”

The Cubs last won the World Series in 1908, so the odds should be more prohibitive.

*

Fading out? Hubert Mizell in the St. Petersburg Times: “Maybe he’s dreaming there might be one more Wimbledon championship in his superlative but fading tennis physique, but you wonder how Pete Sampras, even being a low-ego chap, copes with being a borderline has-been who seldom contends anymore and regularly gets kicked around by cocky tour kids who have not won a Grand Slam [event].”

*

Looking back: On this day in 1969, four expansion teams--Kansas City, Seattle, Montreal and San Diego--recorded opening-day victories.

*

Trivia answer: Woods finished tied for 18th in 1999.

*

And finally: Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News asks if Barry Bonds is fated to replace Chicago Cub legend Ernie Banks as the greatest player never to have made it to the World Series.

Said Banks: “If you haven’t played in the World Series, after you leave the game, and you don’t have that chance again ... it is vital. It took me five years to stop dreaming about being in the World Series.”