Carvey Comedy Is ‘Master’ of Very Little

“The Master of Disguise” sounds as if it should be a natural for Dana Carvey, who has created a gallery of hilarious characters and impersonations on “Saturday Night Live” and elsewhere. But even his protean talent can’t dent this ponderously unfunny and uninspired comedy. It’s hard to imagine anyone older than 10 being diverted by its broad buffoonery, and kids deserve better than this in the first place

It’s even harder to imagine that Carvey is actually credited with co-writing the script (with Harris Goldberg), but it’s true. Anyway, Carvey is Pistachio, a nerdy waiter in his father’s Italian restaurant apparently in New York’s Little Italy (but clearly on a studio back lot). Pistachio has a compulsive habit of mimicking the restaurant’s patrons, but his father Frabbrizio (James Brolin), who emigrated from Palermo with his family in 1979, has never told his son that they come from an ancient line of masters of disguise, crime fighters as effective as Superman. But a close call in the guise of Bo Derek--don’t ask--left Frabbrizio eager to pursue less risky work.

The bad guy, Bowman (Brent Spiner), whom Frabbrizio packed off to prison, has served his sentence and is out for revenge. When Frabbrizio is kidnapped by Bowman and Frabbrizio’s wife (Edie McClurg) is diabolically endangered as well, it’s time for Pistachio’s Grandfather (Harold Gould) to pop up and teach his grandson the tricks of the ancient House of Disguisey. This is the premise for the series of clunky, witless adventures Pistachio has with his glamorous, newly hired assistant (Jennifer Esposito)

Remarkably little that Carvey does in his various disguises is even faintly amusing. Gould frenetically goes over the top, but Brolin wisely takes a more relaxed approach and comes up with the best semblance of an Italian accent of the three. Not much of Esposito is demanded beyond looking good, which she does, and Spiner is stuck in a stock villain part who has a chronic affliction that could well be taken as symbolic of a picture that is such a stinker.

It is not entirely surprising to learn that first-time filmmaker Perry Andelin Blake, who directs with a sledgehammer touch, has been a production designer. The film, which mercifully runs but 80 minutes, has an artificial fantasy look that is more amusing and imaginative in its baroque gaudiness than in any other of its aspects. “Disguise the limit” is the film’s punning promotional slogan, but “Rock Bottom” is more like it.

MPAA rating: PG, for mild language and some crude humor. Times guidelines: some violence, considerable crudeness.

‘The Master of Disguise’

Dana Carvey...Pistachio

Jennifer Esposito...Jennifer

Harold Gould...Grandfather

James Brolin...Frabbrizio

Brent Spiner...Bowman

A Columbia Pictures release of a Revolution Studios presentation of a Happy Madison production in association with Out of the Blue Entertainment. Director Perry Andelin Blake. Producers Sid Ganis, Alex Siskin, Barry Bernardi, Todd Garner. Executive producers Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo. Screenplay by Dana Carvey & Harris Goldberg. Cinematographer Peter Lyons Collister. Editors Peck Prior, Sandy Solowitz. Music Marc Ellis. Costumes Mona May. Special makeup effects Kevin Yagher. Production designer Alan Au. Art director Domenic Silvestri. Set decorator Robert Greenfield. Running time: 1 hour, 20 minutes.

In general release.