Simon Sees Layoffs as Volunteer Opportunity

The pink-slipping Bill Simon Jr. campaign recently let go nearly half of its steroidally overstaffed campaign. But in an interview with CNN’s Judy Woodruff, who put it to Simon that such a thing “doesn’t sound like a campaign in strong shape,” Simon said this:

“Well, no, that’s actually not what happened, Judy. You know, we offered something short of half of our people the opportunity to stay on the campaign in a volunteer capacity.”

Let that sink in for a moment: They weren’t laid off, they were given the opportunity to volunteer. To continue: “ ... almost 80% of them have chosen to do that,” Simon said. “So actually most of the people have stayed with the campaign ... and that actually is an indication of the level of support that we have received from our people.”

Eighty percent? The Simon campaign has yet to provide the precise number of the 30-some workers who chose to hang around and work for free.

A better tenor of sentiment is in a cleverly fake newswire story making the Internet rounds, generated, according to some, by a Simon “volunteer.” That story reads:

Democratic Governor Gray Davis today launched four new hard-hitting television spots attacking Republican gubernatorial candidate Bill Simon on various fronts. The first-time candidate quickly responded to this new onslaught by firing half his staff.

“Gray Davis has been a failure as governor of California,” Simon said. “And I am fully prepared to fire all of my staff if that’s what it takes to get the message across.”

Simon Campaign Manager Rob Lapsley said (the) space-clearing move was designed to streamline the campaign for the fall push.

“With the fall push coming on, and the campaign expecting to be overrun with media and volunteer requests, we thought it would be best if [we] eliminated staff to make it much easier to handle,” Lapsley said, pausing only to fire another staffer via cell phone. “Also, by firing some junior staffers, we were able to scrape together enough cash to buy a TV ad that will be aired three times on a late-night cable channel rerun of ‘Saved by the Bell.’ We expect this move to inspire a lot of confidence in large and small donors who feel this campaign is on the right track.”

The Gray Davis committee did not return calls because they were busy plotting the governor’s 2004 White House campaign.

MAPA Makes Up Its Mind, Backs Simon

The roiling ranks of MAPA, the Mexican American Political Assn., have been bubbling again.

Last time, it was before the March primary, when the president of the group endorsed Bill Jones as MAPA’s Republican guy for governor, but the executive committee snatched that away and backed Richard Riordan. The committee said the president was not the president but rather head of a local chapter.

The odd man out then was GOP nominee Bill Simon Jr., who’s been airing Spanish-language ads, and whose campaign went to some trouble recently to make sure it had a lot of supporters at MAPA’s convention, in hopes of winning an endorsement.

But the annual convention at the Biltmore in downtown L.A. was canceled before it really got revved up; so many scuffles broke out over the ground rules that hotel security had to step in repeatedly.

Simon nonetheless showed up in Pershing Square opposite the hotel, wearing a brightly embroidered blue Mexican guayabera shirt over his navy blue polo shirt, and blamed Gray Davis for engineering the cancellation.

Simon’s campaign had already set up gear for shooting a TV commercial, and his supporters burst into on-cue cheers for the cameras. About two dozen MAPA members huddled and announced that 22 of the group’s chapters had just endorsed Simon for governor. The Simon campaign immediately sent forth a press release: “Major Latino Organization Overwhelmingly Endorses Simon.” At least until you hear otherwise....

GOP Coalition Comes Out for Mary Cheney

Mary Cheney, the vice president’s openly lesbian daughter, will be honored Sept. 5 at an L.A. fund-raiser for the Republican Unity Coalition, which longs to make the party more inclusive. The group was co-founded by Brian O’Leary Bennett, who was for quite a while the chief of staff to anti-homosexual Congressman Robert K. Dornan, who once noted proudly that “every lesbian spear-chucker in this country is hoping I get defeated.”

Eventually, he was, and Bennett came out of the closet.

The Cheney event, at a private home, will include “special guests” Bill and Cindy Simon. These honors are rather different from the last California award given to Mary Cheney, this one by gay activists who named her as a winner of a “Gay Shame Award,” presented to those they believe are hypocrites. In Congress, Cheney’s father was one of 13 to vote in 1988 against funding for AIDS testing and research, and was one of 29 the same year to vote against a Hate Crimes Statistics Act.

Next month’s event is to hit the coalition’s $1-million fund-raising goal for “Big Tent” Republicans running for the House and Senate in November.

Muholland Is Jester in Bush Fund-Raiser

The left coast’s Democratic party prankster is pranking about again.

Bob Mulholland delivered misfortune-filled fortune cookies to news outlets inside the Beltway to mark President Bush’s fund-raising appearances in California on behalf of Simon, whose own funds were hit with bad fortune after a jury found his firm guilty of fraud and assessed $78 million in damages.

Mulholland stuffed the cookies with recent Bush remarks he said should resonate with Simon: “Executives who commit fraud ... when they are guilty of criminal wrongdoing, they will face jail time;” “Corporate leaders who violate the public trust should never be given that trust again;” and “No more easy money for corporate criminals, just hard time.”

Mulholland has also been sharing copies of a thank-you note he received from Rebecca Davis, the fiancee of White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, whose wedding is planned for a few days after the November elections.

Mulholland checked the bridal registry and sent the couple a pair of Ralph Lauren Polo facecloths ($4.99 each). The polite, handwritten note thanked Mulholland and said the couple “appreciate your well wishes during this very special time.” (It should be “good wishes,” but not even the bride’s fiance’s boss, the president, sets much store by such grammatical trifles.)

Mulholland said it was “dumb” for them to thank him for a “$10-dollar item,” but he did acknowledge it’s possible they just don’t know Mulholland the way Californians know him, and took the gift at face value from a, um, “good-wisher.”

Anyone else looking to shop for the Fleischer/Davis menage will find that their choice of china is a Lenox pattern called “McKinley”--same name as the Republican president assassinated in 1901 and succeeded by young Teddy Roosevelt.

Who’s for Whom?

Gray Davis: Erin Brockovich and her former boss, attorney Ed Masry; the gay and lesbian group California Political Action Committee; the district attorneys of the counties of Alameda, Sacramento, Mendocino, Stanislaus, Colusa, Santa Clara, San Joaquin, Sonoma, Imperial, Napa and Siskiyou.

Bill Simon Jr.: the California Disabled Police Officers Assn. and the Los Angeles Professional Sheriffs Assn.

Points Taken

* Scores of politicians and party organizations nationwide are taking the pledge not to air political ads on and even around Sept. 11. Davis’ campaign says it will pull ads on Sept. 10 and 11. Simon’s campaign said it will definitely hold its ads on Sept. 11 and would consider the days flanking it. (Simon’s campaign, compared with Davis’ deluxe bucks, would welcome a reason not to spend money it doesn’t have.)

* The family of a Kern County supervisor who died in June filed a workers’ comp claim, saying the job’s “stress and strain” killed 53-year-old Ken Peterson, a claim that could be worth up to $160,000.

You Can Quote Me

“It’s a travesty of injustice.”

The Rev. Bernell Butler of Rubidoux, protesting a state appeals court decision upholding a spousal assault conviction for the minister, who led protests after the shooting death of his cousin Tyisha Miller by Riverside police in December 1998. Butler’s wife told police her husband had beaten and threatened to kill her, but later said she made up the charge. Butler says he was targeted for prosecution because of the protests he led.

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Separated at birth, again: The latest lost sibling/clone of Bill Simon Jr.--evangelist Franklin Graham, right. Last week’s side-by-side of Simon and Orange County broadcaster Ed Arnold prompted Tony Peyser, cartoonist for the Santa Monica Mirror, to say that since “Inside Politics” ran that pairing, “Ed Arnold has taken a 10-point lead over the Democratic incumbent.” (No one seems to resemble Gray Davis.)

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Patt Morrison’s columns appear Mondays and Tuesdays. Her e-mail address is patt.morrison@latimes. com. This week’s contributors include Nicholas Riccardi and Jean O. Pasco.