Parking Fee May Pave Way to Forgiveness, Even Heaven

The voice came as if from a burning bush.

Come on up to Temple and Grand. See the truth and the light; all sins shall be forgiven.

So one night after work, this former altar boy cruised by the new Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels for a sneak peek, glad to beat the crowds that are expected on opening day next week.

Conveniently, there’s a parking garage under the administration building. As I pulled in, I saw a sign that said the fee is $2.50 for every 20 minutes, with a $12 maximum. Then I saw a red-vested attendant on duty at the pay station.

Good Lord. Heaven’s got a toll booth.

I had to dig into my pocket to make sure I could cover the tab on the way out. Luckily I had a few bucks, so I took a ticket and parked, then headed up the escalator to see what I could see.

Very little, unfortunately.

The entire plaza was cordoned off with yellow tape, and a guard told me it was off-limits pending a city inspection.

What a let-down. I felt like I’d been called to see Cardinal Roger Mahony’s $200-million baby, a place he humbly calls a symbol of hope for people of every faith. There hasn’t been a prouder Papa since Donald Trump crowned Atlantic City with his Taj Mahal.

At the Rog Mahal, just a few blocks west of skid row, Mahony has had a hand in every detail, including the $30 million in art and adornment. Was it too late, I wondered, to become part of the cathedral’s history by purchasing a paving stone ($50-$5,000), or perhaps one of the 1,300 crypts that have been called skyboxes for the dead ($50,000 and up)?

The answers would have to wait. It was getting late, so I went back to my car and drove to the toll booth.

“That’ll be $5,” said the attendant.

“Five dollars?” I’d only been there 10 minutes. “I thought it was $2.50 every 20 minutes.”

“It’s a flat fee after 5 p.m.,” he said. “Five dollars.”

Lord knows I have sinned, but can I afford the price of redemption?

I called the church and was told parking will be validated for those attending Mass. But otherwise, it’ll cost you.

Is there another house of God where you pay to park?

I called the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood.

Free parking.

I called Temple Beth Am on the Westside.

Free parking.

I called the televangelists at the Trinity Broadcasting Network in Costa Mesa.

And, I was surprised myself, free parking.

I called First AME in South L.A.

“I never heard of anybody having to pay to go to church,” said the receptionist.

Yeah. But when did you ever hear of a $200-million church?

(Tip to parishioners: Instead of $2.50 for 20 minutes, it’s $2.50 all day at two parking lots that are across the street from each other at 1st and Beaudry. Park there, and save your money for the basket).

I drove back to the cathedral again the next morning, and it was a little tricky getting there from the Harbor Freeway. Fortunately, Mahony lobbied the state for a new offramp--essentially a driveway to his parking garage--that’ll cost taxpayers $25 million.

I parked again, and this time I got as far as the gift shop. But the store was closed and the plaza was still blocked off. I began wondering if the barricades were a message from God, or, more frighteningly, from the Cardinal. His Eminence did withdraw a personal invitation for a tour, after all, when he took issue with a few columns of mine.

I got a chance to do some window shopping at the gift shop, and that’s when I learned that Ernest and Julio have nothing on Cardinal Mahony. When the doors open next Tuesday, you’ll be able to buy Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels Chardonnay.

I also saw a three-bottle gift pack that includes the chardonnay along with Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels Cabernet Sauvignon and White Zinfandel.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have trouble quitting once I start, so I wondered if they have Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels aspirin.

Parking, paving, life, death. It’s all for sale at the new spiritual center of the metropolis.

As I was leaving, I noticed that guards with two-way radios were everywhere, patrolling the temple on the mount. A little late, don’t you think?

Thirty-three diocesan priests have been accused of molesting minors since 1985, and some of them fled the country and escaped prosecution because nobody in robes bothered to call the police.

The church owes millions in settlements as a result. But at $2.50 for 20 minutes, it won’t take long to cover the tab.

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Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve.lopez@latimes.com