Karros, Grudzielanek in Good Company Now

Now as I understand it, if this baseball trade is completed, in addition to Eric Karros and Mark Grudzielanek joining me as Tribune Company employees -- and just in time for our Christmas bonuses -- the Dodgers must also send cash to the Cubs.

That’s interesting because the Tribune Company, which owns The Times and the Cubs, has made it clear there’s no money available. So it’s obvious to me why the company has demanded the Dodgers send cash, and won’t Kevin Brown be surprised when he learns who funded my raise?

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TO BE honest, I’ve thought for some time now Chicago would be the perfect place for Karros because of that city’s passion for 16-inch softball, and the fact it’s a game in which almost no one strikes out.

I don’t know how much he’s going to help the Cubs, but when it comes time to join the Tribune Company softball team with the shorter distance between the bases, I believe he’s going to dominate the Tavern League.

As for Grudzielanek, he’s going to a city where a lot of people have long last names that are difficult to spell, so he should feel right at home.

Now in return for the right side of the infield, the Dodgers are going to get second-hand smoke, which has to be a concern for folks who hang around the team.

The last time I saw Todd Hundley he was sitting just outside the Dodger clubhouse smoking a cigarette. I suppose you could put a blindfold on him, and make him the poster child for this year’s Dodger marketing theme: “It’s time to start executing,” but the real scary news is the Dodgers have more moves planned.

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I ASKED Coach Phil Jackson before Tuesday night’s Laker game when he’s going to start doing some coaching -- not realizing that would be a good time to start, what with UCLA’s Steve Lavin sitting courtside directly across from him. I’m not sure what good it’s going to do to make Lavin think a coach has to sit there like a bump on a log, but I’m not ruling out it might be an improvement in his case.

Anyway, when I pressed Jackson for an answer on how to straighten out the Lakers, he was speechless. I said, “I’m concerned that you seem befuddled,” but he didn’t seem particularly concerned about that.

He admitted, however, while walking off the court the other night someone yelled to him, “When are you going to start coaching?” and while I’m surprised Jeanie Buss would be so blunt, it’s a very good question.

“Some people think you’re coaching if you’re walking up and down the court, waving your hands and calling out signals,” Jackson said, but all I’m asking for is some sign of life.

I continued to quiz him, and at one point he muttered something about sustained effort and more defense, and if I wanted to be bored, I’d place a call to Dodger Manager Jim Tracy.

In the past, Jackson has responded to these kind of queries with clever quips or humor, but this time he just couldn’t make the adjustment from routine questions and answers to, “Hey, you big lug, when are you going to do something to fix this?”

The Lakers are 0-9 when trailing at the half this season, which also suggests an inability to make adjustments. Now we know Lavin can rebound from a slow start, but we just don’t know about this guy, and I’m afraid it’s getting to the point where I might have to start needling him more. You can see how much it helped USC.

Obviously, I got the Lakers to win Tuesday night.

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YOU CAN just imagine what Chick Hearn would be saying as lousy as the Lakers have been playing, or you could just listen to Kobe Bryant after most games.

“I learned a lot from Chick,” joked Kobe after taking part Tuesday to rename a stretch of 11th Street in Hearn’s honor.

“We’re going to get a four-peat for Chick,” Kobe told the crowd, and if his prediction is correct, the Lakers’ championship parade will work its way up Figueroa and this time will turn right on “Chick Hearn Court” in front of Staples Center.

Laker General Manager Mitch Kupchak said: “Every map in Los Angeles will now have to be changed” to include Chick Hearn Court, which will stretch from Figueroa to Cherry, and how fitting is that, Kupchak said, since Chick “was the man who put the Lakers on the map first?”

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ALTHOUGH SOME teammates and critics are beginning to peck away again at Kobe for shooting off his mouth or just shooting too much period, he remains a competitive and poised marvel at 24 years of age.

His performance at the Hearn ceremony was once again mature beyond his years, and on the court he’s still a highlight film in the making every time he touches the ball. “I have been critical,” he said, “but that’s what a leader is supposed to do. Sometimes it might come across a little hard, but it’s all in love.”

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THERE’S NOTHING like a good cry, and that’s why I’m recommending “Plaschke: Good Sports and Spoilsports, Foul Balls and Oddballs,” the perfect book to buy at Christmas time with all proceeds from the collection of sports columnist Bill Plaschke’s columns going to the Times Holiday Campaign for disadvantaged children. It’s my hope every book will be sold, bringing Plaschke to tears when he realizes how much he could have made had all the money not gone to charity.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Jeff Hubbard:

“You’re good luck for the mighty Trojans. Every time you criticize USC, we win. Keep up the good work, and please predict another loss in our BCS Bowl game.”

That’s funny, I got USC finally winning a game -- wonder what that means?

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.