Autistic Boy Is His Mother’s Life, Friends Insist

Stunned by news that their neighbor is accused of trying to kill her autistic son, residents of a Stanton neighborhood said Heidi Shelton had been intensely dedicated to the 5-year-old but struggled to meet his special needs.

“I don’t believe it,” said Darci Rynsburger, a neighbor who described herself as a former close friend of the mother. “She worshiped that boy.”

Shelton is scheduled to be arraigned today on a charge of attempted murder and child endangerment. Orange County sheriff’s officials say she tried to poison her son -- and herself -- with overdoses of Xanax, an anti-anxiety drug. The two were found Sunday night by Shelton’s mother, who lives with the family.

“Her intent was to kill him and herself. We know, just by statements she made, that that was her intent,” said Jim Amormino, spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.

Amormino said he did not know if Shelton, who has a prescription for the Xanax, was motivated by frustration with her son’s condition.

Autism is a neurological disorder that affects a person’s ability to interact with others.The case is the second such incident in Orange County this year; in July a Laguna Niguel man shot and killed his 27-year-old autistic son before committing suicide.

After Shelton and her son were briefly hospitalized, she was taken to Central Women’s Jail in Santa Ana. The son is at Orangewood, the county’s foster care facility.

It’s a story that neighbors in the condominium complex in the 7200 block of Penn Way, nestled in a cluster of streets off Beach Boulevard, said they find hard to accept.

“Zachary is her whole life,” said Reggie Bernard.

Neighbors said Shelton dropped a real estate career to take care of the boy herself. She took frequent walks with him and never seemed to be upset. He loves remote-controlled cars, hats and the color pink.

But they said they knew the single mother faced problems.

Shelton “has been dealt a rough hand” and had been troubled about life events even before Zachary was born, Rynsburger said. She would not elaborate, but added that despite her troubles, Shelton “could never kill that boy. She loved him. I know there is more to this story.”

Neighbors said, however, that Zachary is rambunctious and has required constant attention. Bernard said he and his wife had taken care of Zachary a few times. “You never knew what he was going to do,” he said. “You had to watch him real close.”

Other neighbors noted that Shelton worked to keep her cool.

“Sometimes, she would seem mad, but she would hold it back,” said William Mendoza, a 14-year-old neighbor whose dog Ginger played with the boy on the grass between their condominiums.

More recently, neighbors say, Shelton had faced problems at Carver Elementary School, where she tried to place the boy in kindergarten.

Recently their problems have seemed worse, especially for the boy, neighbors said.

Joan Bergeron, who has a grandchild with autism, said autistic children thrive on routine.

“He’s probably freaking out. He needs to be in his own environment,” Bergeron said.

Bernard Rimland, founder of the Autism Society of America and director of the Autism Research Institute in San Diego, said that although it is rare for parents to kill their autistic children, many parents are frustrated by the condition.

“A mother likes to get a response from their kid. But the autistic kid is programmed so he does not respond to kindness and hugs. He is often indifferent,” Rimland said. “It’s an extremely frustrating situation.”

Rimland added that physicians often do not provide useful advice, babysitters are not accustomed to dealing with such uncooperative children, and teachers do not know how to handle them.

“It’s easy to reach your limit,” he said.

And as autistic children grow, they present increasing challenges because they are stronger and harder to control, he said.

Neighbor Bergeron said she frequently talked with Shelton about these issues.

“Heidi had learned to live with the pressures,” Bergeron said.

“She was a wonderful mom and a wonderful person. I would leave my grandchildren with her.”