Final Answer? No, It’s Lavin’s Futile Answer

Now most of us in California were probably playing our own version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” on Saturday, although I wonder if people like Shaq or Jack Nicholson buy a lottery ticket.

By now, of course, most of us are losers--which really got me thinking about UCLA basketball Coach Steve Lavin.

Here’s a guy who should seriously consider incorporating “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” into his regular line of work while he has a job. I mean it’s generally understood anyone sitting in the stands can do a better job coaching the Bruins than Lavin, so why not get the audience’s help when Lavin appears clueless?

This is going to keep the fans busy, of course, if they have to help every time Lavin appears clueless, which is going to cut into concession sales.

But why not wire Pauley Pavilion, rent key pads to the Bruin faithful who want to keep Lavin from blowing the game, and then post their collective advice on the scoreboard? I’d suggest phoning a friend, but his friend is Kevin Malone.

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THE WHOLE idea of getting help, of course, is to avoid the early exit.

Take Saturday’s debacle against Arizona State, for example, and this $100 question that Lavin missed--effectively knocking the Bruins out of the Pac-10 championship race in one of the worst losses at home in some time: There are 2.3 seconds left, you’re losing by a point, Arizona State is shooting free throws and you have one timeout left--what do you?

Even Tom Arnold could have answered that one correctly. But Lavin immediately signaled for a timeout, and everyone in the crowd standing behind him groaned loudly in unison as if it was one of those celebrity versions of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” affording the star a second chance.

When I asked Lavin why he didn’t tell Regis he wanted to change his answer after hearing the audience groan, he looked at me as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

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LAVIN EXPLAINED later he called the timeout so he could tell his team to run the Christian Laettner play Duke had used to beat Kentucky in 1992. Since Cedric Bozeman had just turned 9 at the time and he was going to be asked to play the role of Grant Hill, I imagine much of the timeout was used to give a history lesson. That would explain the results.

Duke had 2.1 seconds remaining and the ball out of bounds--a key detail that Lavin would not take into consideration when trying to explain his position later. He told reporters he called the timeout to freeze the shooter, which would have meant a missed free throw, a rebound and then a heave down the court.

That’s what happened--Billy Knight getting the rebound in a crowd, and then traveling while trying to negotiate his way out of traffic, the clock running out, UCLA losing, and Arizona State winning for the first time in Pauley Pavilion since 1987--a year before “Live! With Regis & Kathie Lee” went national.

Had the Pauley audience been allowed to punch in: “Not now, dummy,” Lavin would have saved the timeout, and the Bruins would have had the chance to set a play while taking the ball out of bounds.

As it is, I don’t know why he just doesn’t turn around in these situations--he has the Wizard of Westwood sitting almost right behind him. But even when it came to the postgame news conference, Lavin still couldn’t come up with the correct answers, which tells me Wooden isn’t yelling loud enough.

A member of the school’s publicity department stepped in and put a halt to the media gathering so Lavin could make a run for the door. I wanted to tell him the kids were just popping the yellow and blue balloons the school had passed out earlier, and there was no reason to take cover.

I found him later in his office, which I guess is better than having Peter Dalis knocking on his door. I told him I thought he should have saved his timeout and used it on a missed free throw. Or, if Arizona State had made both free throws, he still could have used it, had 2.3 seconds left with the ball out of bounds and the chance to duplicate Laettner’s miracle shot.

I chastised him for taking senior Matt Barnes out with 3:35 to play and a three-point lead, and replacing him with sophomore T.J. Cummings, who then turned the ball over and allowed Arizona State the chance to tie the score.

I also criticized him for his team’s poor offensive play against Arizona State’s zone defense, and his players’ unwillingness to set solid screens to free Jason Kapono, who took only seven shots.

In each case, he said I was wrong, and imagine how that made me feel: Lavin telling me I don’t know as much about basketball as he does.

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NOW THAT the Olympics have shown us that the game isn’t over until the whining has stopped, if I’m Arizona Coach Lute Olson, I’m rolling the videotape to show that Jason Gardner’s foot didn’t move when he made a three-point shot to tie USC. An official ruled Gardner had traveled, the only difference between the French skating judge and the Pac-10 officials being that the French judge was pressured to make a bad decision and the Pac-10 officials just make bad decisions.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Curtis:

“I know what you mean about Tiger’s absence. I feel the same way when Plaschke’s off and it’s either your column or nothing.”

I’m under par much more consistently than Plaschke.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.