Big Red Washed Away in Rose Bowl Deluge

I suppose Miami could have been intimidated, surrounded by all that red in the Rose Bowl when they arrived for the BCS championship game, the goofy Nebraska fans dressed from head to toe in the stuff and cleverly screaming: “Go Big Red.”

But knowing the Nebraskans probably wash their clothes as most of us do, the Hurricanes could look at every one of the Cornhusker supporters with confidence knowing they were all wearing pink underwear.

I had no idea, however, the Hurricanes would go on to treat the Cornhuskers as if they were all wearing pink tutus.

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LET ME just say I wasn’t intimidated by the red horde. I had received hundreds, if not thousands, of e-mails from Nebraska fans, many of them asking to meet me in the parking lot before the game. But I waded right into the heart of the Big Red tailgate party--press pass flapping in the breeze--and introduced myself to everyone as Bill Dwyre, sports editor of The Times.

I’ve always wanted to feel what it’d be like to be Dwyre for a day anyway, but then that would have meant doing nothing all day long, and I still had a column to write.

Before I went back to work, one man in a red shirt called out what he thought was my name, and identified himself as a Laker season-ticket holder--introducing me to his friend, a Nebraska fan, as “that” Page Two columnist in the local paper. His friend gripped my hand as though he was getting ready to apply handcuffs.

“I’ve seen you sitting down in the media seats at the Laker games,” said the Laker season-ticket holder. “I’m surprised you’re out here; I thought you’d be afraid of these people kicking your butt.”

I asked him if he would keep his voice down, but he kept referring to me as “T.J.,” like some Michael Buffer wannabe, and I probably wouldn’t have corrected him had a group of Nebraska fans nearby not turned their attention our way. I realized they were in a long line for “sweet corn” and how important that might be to them, but several of them also looked as if they could afford to miss a few meals and were seriously interested in joining our conversation.

OK, so I was probably a little rude, and maybe even crude to the Laker season-ticket holder, but I had to set him straight. And what the heck--today he’s telling his friends, “You won’t believe how rude and crude Bill Dwyre can be.”

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AT THIS time I would like to applaud the editors at The Times for no longer running the pictures of columnists in the newspaper. I think it was a very healthy decision.

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I STOOD alongside a woman in a Denver Bronco sweater trying to sell a pair of $150 tickets to the game for $125 each, and getting no takers for almost two hours.

A couple of guys in Raider hats appeared interested, but she said she wouldn’t sell the tickets to Raider fans.

I think it should be a universal policy not to sell Raider fans tickets to any sporting event, thereby making this world a safer place.

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INSIDE THE Rose Bowl, Nebraska fans chose not to sit down, and while I have no idea if this had anything to do with the fear of potential rump displacement--given the stadium’s narrow seats--I hope it wasn’t some kind of Cornhusker tradition in which they all wait for their team to score.

The Cornhuskers just scored, and the fans are still standing--I hope they’re not waiting for Nebraska to take the lead.

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MY QUESTION is, if they turned their TVs off in Nebraska when the game turned ugly, then what did they do?

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I REMEMBER wondering after the U.S. hockey team’s 1980 win over the Soviets if we would ever hear again from those poor guys when they returned to the Soviet Union and had to explain what happened. Now I wonder if we’ll ever hear from Eric Crouch again.

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I COVERED the San Diego Chargers when Kellen Winslow was catching passes; now I’m covering games with Kellen Winslow making back-to-back jarring tackles on kickoffs for Miami. And I really haven’t gotten any older.

The 6-foot-5, 210-pound younger Winslow is a freshman wide receiver for the Hurricanes who caught two passes for 34 yards, while working mostly on special teams. If he’s anything like his father, though, by the time he leaves Miami, he’ll be almost unstoppable and the best talker on the team.

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NOW WE know the final score of the Super Bowl if the Rams played the Chargers.

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WHEN I ran into Diane Millard, a good California girl, I had to ask her about her decision to marry Jeff Millard, wondering if her vision of Prince Charming growing up included walking hand-in-hand with this hick from Omaha wearing a piece of yellow foam rubber on his head shaped like a piece of corn.

“I love the fact he’s courageous enough to walk around looking like that,” she said, and as an added benefit, she doesn’t have to worry about another woman making a play for her man.

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LOS ANGELES is becoming a magnet for oddball fans--the Cornhuskers leaving and being replaced by figure skating aficionados for next week’s championship competition in Staples Center. There’s nothing like the mayhem of figure skating, and I know this, Tonya Harding has a lot more fight in her than any of these guys from Nebraska, so I’m hoping she makes an appearance.

After that, of course, we get the NHL All-Star game, which is why I have plans to go to New Orleans for the Super Bowl.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Traci Batman:

“I think you owe the people of Nebraska an apology.”

Sorry--to see you go. No need to write.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.