Brown Taking Act on Road--Out of Town

In Philadelphia, it’s all over but the recriminations, which promise to be many as Larry Brown concludes his final season, assuming, of course, he stays the season.

The city, picking up the pieces of its broken heart, is returning to its primal instinct, anger. The Philadelphia Inquirer’s Steve Smith compared Brown to “a thief in the night.” A Daily News headline noted, “Larry Brown’s act is getting old.”

Actually, his act was old a long time before he got there, but maybe they missed that.

Out here, we consider ourselves connoisseurs, having seen Brown come and go three times--once with the Clippers, twice at UCLA, including 1988 when he accepted the Bruin job, then announced he couldn’t leave Kansas, where he stayed two more months before departing for San Antonio.

See if any of this sounds familiar:

* You’re hopeless when he arrives.

The 76ers were 22-60 with an impossible backcourt of Allen Iverson and Jerry Stackhouse.

* You go up like a rocket.

This makes nine teams--seven pro and two college, not counting Davidson, his first job, which he resigned within days when they didn’t carpet his office--all of which he took into the postseason where one won an NCAA title (Kansas), another made the NCAA final (UCLA), one made the NBA Finals (76ers), one made the ABA finals (Nuggets) and two made the NBA Eastern finals (76ers, Pacers twice).

* He beats on his best player until the guy is crazy.

Actually, insiders give Brown high marks here because he had never held still for as much as he did with Iverson.

When Brown wasn’t trying to trade Iverson or threatening to quit, himself, he was figuring out how to work around a 5-foot-11 point guard who didn’t pass, averaged 25 shots, made 42% and regarded coaching as “disrespect.”

All the while, Brown will have been confiding in a wide circle of intimates, most of whom were once his assistants and are now running teams: Indiana President Donnie Walsh and General Manager David Kahn; San Antonio GM R.C. Buford and Coach-President Gregg Popovich; Utah GM Kevin O’Conner, Portland Coach Mo Cheeks and Clipper Coach Alvin Gentry.

(There’s also an NCAA branch, not as close to the loop, but still impressive: Memphis State’s John Calipari, Missouri’s Quinn Snyder and Illinois’ Bill Self.)

So one never has to guess what escape scenarios whiz through Brown’s head.

Last week, the drumbeat got so loud, Philadelphia’s NBC outlet reported GM Billy King had flown west to talk Brown out of quitting on the spot.

Brown issued such non-denial denials as, “I’m here.”

Meanwhile, Denver GM Kiki Vandeweghe, who played for Brown at UCLA and needs someone, mused that Brown was “probably the best” coach he’d ever had.

Brown said he loved the area so much, “We’re going to live in Colorado somewhere when I’m finished.”

While love bloomed in the Rockies, 76er owner Ed Snider was at his Montecito winter home, assuring the Inquirer that if there were anything to this, he’d be on the case.

“But, obviously, I’m out here in California having a good time and all these reports are trying to spoil that,” Snider said. “But I’m not going to let that happen.”

Of course, what would he know?

Before last season, Snider barely knew he had an NBA team. The longtime owner of the NHL Flyers, he got 33% of the 76ers, and operational control, when Comcast bought majority interest.

But until last summer’s falling out, Snider let minority owner Pat Croce tend the lowly 76ers’ rehabilitation.

The house explanation now, parroted by some hard-nosed locals, is that Croce was a self-promoter with little impact on the basketball side, a ridiculous postdating of history that’s now being exposed.

“Gone along with Croce is the attachment to the community the Sixers enjoyed during his five years at the helm--regardless of the rhetoric that the Sixers throw out there,” wrote the Inquirer’s Smith.

Gone is all leadership. Without Croce, Brown is the only one left to run the show under the detached Snider.

And gone, soon enough, will be Brown.

If Snider is smart, or cares, he’ll catch up on Brown’s history--after returning from vacation, of course--the first rule of which is: When he wants to go, let him.

With Brown, when it turns down, it doesn’t go back up. There are coaches available who may be able to salvage this mess: Jeff Van Gundy, who’d find Philly peaceful after Gotham; Mike Dunleavy, who’d find Iverson refreshing after Rasheed Wallace.

Brown will have his pick of jobs. If you reminded the Nuggets, Warriors or Trail Blazers, “This only lasts two or three seasons,” they’d still want to know where to sign up.

Of course, if you want to ride the wind, bring a parachute. With Brown, you need your own escape scenario.

Haunted, searching, abandoning, embracing, a genius at work, if briefly; a romantic always finding the path of true love washed out; a neurotic chasing a dream that isn’t real.... all of it applies to Brown.

Constant, he ain’t, but Brown has a great heart, too.

At UCLA, he told freshman Michael Holton he expected him to drop by for chats, which often lasted hours. Holton says Brown told the guys stuff like, “The important thing isn’t what you get out of this but what you do for others.”

Brown is assuredly a wack job but who do you know who’s so normal? I don’t know about your workplace but in mine, he fits right in.

Faces and Figures

It’s OK to panic (cont.):

* Ding, ding, ding: Portland--Adding Derek Anderson and Ruben Patterson to a team overstocked with wing players only worsened chemistry. Anyone who’s surprised must be a blood relative of GM Bob Whitsitt. Said Scottie Pippen to local writers, “Go ahead, we didn’t put this team together so take your best shot. There’s too many different personalities, too much yapping at the coaches, too much complaining.” Whitsitt may now have to shop Wallace. OK, who’s desperate enough to take 6-11, 250 pounds of bad attitude with a $14.3-million salary?

* Ding, ding, ding, New York--Looks like that twerp they rode out on a wave of ingratitude could coach, after all. The Knicks, 10-9 under Van Gundy, are 4-9 under Don Chaney. Marcus Camby said the guards weren’t passing the ball. Kurt Thomas said Camby wasn’t speaking for him. Allan Houston said they had to be more positive, which looked like an allusion to Latrell Sprewell. Fans boo Houston, now considered a $100-Million Player Lite. Said Thomas after the Knicks concluded a 5-9 December, “It seems a lot worse.” New York papers are full of speculation about a Sprewell-and-Camby-for-Wallace deal. Portland insiders say that’s not enough.

Dear scum: Miami’s Pat Riley, looking for something, anything, to revive his players, reminded them of their low estate. “They’re losing respect and dignity and all the things they fought for,” he said. “They’re maimed and shown no respect from officials. Other players trash talk them in the press.” ... Voila, his wretches, who’d lost 21 of 24, won in Indiana and Boston.

Bobby Bowman Jr., the fan whose harangue provoked Dan Issel into his career-ending reply, is so tired of being asked if he forgives Dan that his father, Bobby Sr., said he’s done talking, gratis, anyway. “If Channel 2 news--or 7 or 9 or 4 or whatever--if they want to get involved in that stuff, it is going to cost them some money,” Bobby Sr. told the Denver Post. “You can talk to me but it will cost you.”

Mr. Lucky: If the Celtics hadn’t come from 16 points behind against the Clippers, they’d have had an 0-4 trip instead of going 1-3, but Coach Jim O’Brien isn’t afraid of the big, bad West. “We’ve had success back at the FleetCenter against teams from the West,” he said. “We’re undefeated against them. It’s always difficult to come out and play four games in five nights. It’s tough for the West to come back there and play four games in five nights.” The Celtics went 5-0 at home against Seattle, Denver, Phoenix, Utah and Memphis but have yet to play the top five there.

Offering a shark a transfusion: According to the Nets’ Kenyon Martin, Michael Jordan asked him, “‘You’re letting a 38-year-old man do this to you?’ I said, ‘I’m 24 with a bad back.”’ Said Jordan, after going for 45 points, “I don’t think he wants to tell me that. I started attacking from that point on.”