From Sitcom Star to Author to Deejay, With Varied Degrees of Success

Manhattan’s largest independent bookseller was holding a going-out-of-business sale Tuesday, and one of the slowest movers was the autobiography of Danny Bonaduce, the former “Partridge Family” child star.

“We’ve got it sitting on the front table,” said Ronald Stephenson, a manager at Coliseum Books. “Maybe his book would do better in L.A. than in New York.”

The tome, “Random Acts of Badness--My Story,” had been marked down 50% to $11.48. Whatever, I’m sure it’s every bit as much fun as the radio show Bonaduce co-hosts here on KYSR-FM (98.7). Station billboards around town promote it with this guarantee: “Less painful than waxing!”

Sound-alike competition: This week’s winning homonyms (see accompanying) include:

* A Singer product that you might expect to find on a farm (submitted by Mildred Berger)

* An apparent reference to people who idolize addicts (C.L. Sherburne)

* A sofa that wears a disguise (Ken Mooney)

* And, finally, a piano that can whirl around (Doris Walden and Jane Bush).

OK, on the last item, I confess that I had never heard of a spinet piano. Then again I’d never heard of the spinning variety either, though I seem to recall Jerry Lee Lewis throwing one around during a concert.

Levels of meaning: A motorist who led police on a brief chase through Costa Mesa pulled into a store’s parking lot and surrendered peacefully. I think the name of the store also could describe his decision: Smart & Final.

A 80-proof illumination system: A discussion here of Hollywood saloons that regularly lit up the night with flames brought a note from writer Frank Mulvey.

“Surely the granddaddy of all blazing bars was the aptly named, but now defunct, Firefly on Vine Street, just south of Hollywood Boulevard,” said Mulvey, author of “The 101 Best Bars of Los Angeles.” “Last call was announced nightly when one of the twin brothers who owned the joint ignited the entire length of the bar. And, being professional bartenders, the brothers used vodka, not lighter fluid.”

Bad karma? The San Francisco Examiner reports that a $100,000 Porsche Speedster was stolen from actor Nicolas Cage, who portrayed a Southland car thief in the movie “Gone in Sixty Seconds.” You’ll recall that Cage’s character was so skilled at car heists in Long Beach that a rival crook uttered these classic words to him: “Get out of Long Beach, tonight!”

There are deadlines and there are deadlines: A colleague who was having cable TV service installed at her residence couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the cable guy. The poor fellow’s cell phone and beeper sounded constantly that morning. At one point, she heard a cell caller say to him: “Aren’t you through yet?” She figured he had jobs stacked up through the day. She thought differently, however, when she saw him head for his truck afterward. Three other cable trucks were there as well. The other drivers were waiting impatiently--so they could all go to lunch.

miscelLAny: During one NFL playoff broadcast, CBS’ Dan Dierdorf observed that, “like the Queen Mary,” 340-pound Baltimore Raven tackle Tony Siragusa has trouble stopping “once he starts moving.” Was Dierdorf hinting at the next destination for Siragusa, who has announced his retirement? Will Siragusa be towed to Long Beach and transformed into a tourist attraction? Despite his appetite, his upkeep would be less expensive than that of the QM.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.