Intruder Was Unprepared for Hazards Tossed at Him in Robbery Gone Awry

Maybe a home-improvement store isn’t the best kind to attempt to rob. A guy in a ski mask approached three people in a Norwalk store and said, “Cash. I want all your cash.” He began to swing a crowbar, whereupon one of the would-be victims said, “Let’s get this guy.”

The next thing the intruder knew, a hammer was flung at him, the Long Beach Press-Telegram reported. Someone else threw a ladder. The man in the ski mask slalomed out of the store as fast as he could.

Stupid criminal tricks (cont.): A duo of burglars dressed as custodians was looting a store in Palmdale when a shopkeeper next door spotted them. He told them he’d keep quiet about it and went inside his own store--where he promptly called the cops. The burglars were arrested soon afterward, and no doubt left wondering whether anyone can be trusted these days.

Well, it seemed important at the time: Some 911 calls listed in the Pasadena Star News:

* “Male says Japanese bees won’t let him take his meds (medicines).”

* “Husband locked in shower.”

* “Vicious peacock stuck in tree.”

* “Unknown person stole 10 gallons of water from [resident’s] pool.”

And, finally, the department received a call from an alarm company rep who couldn’t find the city of Puerto Vallarta.

Told that it was in Mexico, the rep said this Puerto Vallarta was in Southern California. Asked to spell it, the caller responded: “P-i-c-o R-i-v-e-r-a.”

Guide to Adventurous Dining: July 4 is almost here, and you know what that means--time to get the eats ready! Today’s servings (see accompanying):

* An almost completely misspelled sandwich menu, including one offering that would figure to have a cottony taste (Chuck Dapoz of Manhattan Beach);

* Some really aged frozen raspberries, advertised in Idaho, not Russia (Leslie Siewierski of Westchester);

* And, finally, a cut of meat where you wouldn’t expect to find a bone (Betty Borzage of Santa Ana).

More food for thought: A while back, I showed you a photo of a former Straw Hat pizzeria in Claremont whose new owner displayed a sign that said Raw Hat. Well, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin columnist David Allen, the watchdog of Claremont, writes that the Raw Hat folks received a stern warning from the Straw Hat folks. Raw Hat disappeared and was replaced by Stars Pizza, but it too went out of business.

Theorized Allen: “Maybe it was a lack of dough.”

miscelLAny: I think most non-Valleyites in L.A. would agree with me about secession. If the divorce does not go through, I’d be willing to take the Valley back on one condition: No more whining!

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 or e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.