LAUGH LINES

Love Games: “According to a recent survey, 13% of women say they’ve said ‘I love you’ to a man just to get that man to have sex with them. The other 87% said ‘I love you’ to a man just to get rid of the guy.” (Jay Leno)

Keeping Score: “Enron’s former CEO, Kenneth Lay, recently sold his interest in the Houston Texans, who begin play in the NFL next fall. He would have been a great owner. Even when the team was trailing by 40 points, the scoreboard would show them leading by 10.” (Argus Hamilton)

Pointing the Finger: “Meteorologists and oceanographers alike are agreeing that the conditions are right for an El Nino to form in the Pacific Ocean, which would begin affecting our weather later this year. On the upside, if there is one, we’ll finally have something to blame our problems on besides Enron.” (Ira Lawson)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012.