Too Bad Angels Won’t Face Mets This Season

The other day Angel closer Troy Percival was quoted as saying, “We may miss Mo’s bat, but we won’t miss his leadership.” Mo Vaughn’s reaction has led me to believe that he’s schizophrenic. Let the following serve as evidence:

1) Confused: Mo Vaughn’s response was, “I got hardware, I got playoff appearances, I got an MVP. I’ve been to the playoffs twice. What the hell has he done?” I must have missed the part where Percival questioned his credentials.

2) Deluded: Vaughn went on to eloquently point out that “You don’t even ... play every ... day and you’re sitting there talking about position players who play every day.” No Mo, he’s talking about you--someone who missed the entire 2001 season after deciding to have surgery right before spring training.

3) Paranoid: Referring to the surgery, he said, “I kept playing, they had surgery on [the arm] and infected it again. I had to rehab my whole situation by myself. So the Angels, they better leave me alone.” An employer who’s paying you $50 million has the right to a healthy employee.

4) Misinformed: Mo also asked about Percival, “Has he led his team to a pennant?” Have you, Mo? Certainly not with your .226 career postseason batting average.

Good luck, Mets.

Josh Engel

Los Angeles

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With apologies to Chris Dufresne:

News item: In the off-season, Mo Vaughn expresses his desire to go back to the East Coast, partly because of lax West Coast fans.

Second thought: Gee Mo, you never noticed this before you signed your gigantic contract? Too bad you never got to play in Anaheim before, what with Boston being in the National League and all. Hey, wait a minute ...

News item: Vaughn blasts Troy Percival for saying Vaughn won’t be missed and Darin Erstad is team leader. Mo asks, “Has [Percival] led his team to a pennant?”

Second thought: Well, no, Mo, same as you. You don’t get a pennant for being a wild-card team. You actually have to make it to the World Series.

News item: Mo blasts Percival again, asking “What the hell has he done?”

Second thought: Let’s see: shown up every day ready to go, made more All-Star teams than you (4-3), concentrates on team instead of self. Your MVP trophy didn’t get the Sox to the Series, did it, Mo?

News item: Mo blasts Angels, saying “That organization destroyed my arm.”

Second thought: Hey, Mo, maybe you destroyed it lifting your wallet containing the $13 million you got last year for not playing, or maybe when you struck out 308 times in the two seasons you did play, or by maybe hoisting some extra double cheeseburgers instead of hitting the treadmill, or holding yourself back from joining that fight in Cleveland.

My thought: Good riddance, Mo. At least the Angels were able to get a major league arm for you.

Tom Cammalleri

Simi Valley