Families Bear Adoption Hoax Pain

They named her Alexandria Sumiko. They made arrangement for a crib and baby furniture. They started loving her, sight unseen.

But that’s as far as Holly and George Foster got in their quest for Alexandria, a baby they say was promised them by adoption facilitator Julie Fahrer.

Alexandria never existed, the Fosters say. There was no birth, no baby, no adoption.

Fahrer will not comment. Her husband, in a recent interview, said he knows of no children his wife has worked with in the last 20 years. Asked about the allegations made by the Fosters and other families, Neal Fahrer refused to comment specifically. “We have a life to lead,” he said. “I’m not participating.”

His wife never guaranteed to anyone that she could find them a baby, he added.

Julie Fahrer gained publicity last month by telling Afghan families across California that she had access to hundreds of orphans from Afghanistan. After that claim was exposed as a hoax, other stories came to light--stories of couples desperate to adopt and a woman who leads them on.

Some families say they gave Fahrer hundreds of dollars, money that could be considered gifts or payment for services such as consultations.

Fahrer has never been sued or prosecuted. The Fosters, like other families, said they did not consider going to court because they wanted to put their experience behind them.

After Fahrer’s claims about Afghan orphans, however, the FBI is investigating her.

Fahrer and her husband have told several stories to explain her actions. Ten years ago, when couples began demanding proof of the babies they hoped to adopt, they say Fahrer claimed she had a brain tumor and was going blind. Later, she told her church congregation that the tumor story was untrue, Neal Fahrer and other members of the congregation say.

More recently, Neal Fahrer explained the Afghan hoax by saying that his wife had created a fantasy because she suffers from psychological problems.

Whatever the explanation, for the families, the experience has been traumatic.

Over 13 months in the early 1990s, the Fosters say Fahrer promised them seven children. As each adoption fell through, the Fosters say, Fahrer created tragic stories to explain why. Alexandria, for example, died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Fahrer said in a letter the Fosters shared with a reporter. A detective was unable to find a birth or death certificate. Fahrer sent ashes, photos, a lock of hair and baby photos to the Fosters to make her seem real.

“Everything was an illusion,” Holly Foster said.

Over the years, Fahrer built a reputation as an adoption resource. She operated businesses under such names as HOPE Agency, Adoption Library, and Adoption Research Center, according to letters and brochures that carry her name.

During the 1980s, she told people she worked with Beverly Hills adoption attorney D. Durand Cook. Letters written by Fahrer use Cook’s letterhead. Cook did not return phone calls seeking comment.

Fahrer Was Known as an Adoption Facilitator

Although no instance has been verified in which she delivered a child, Fahrer became known in the Southern California adoption community as a person who could help couples find Asian babies. In 1991, she spoke at a conference at which she was described as an “expert in international and domestic adoption, specializing in Japan.”

Dozens of reputable adoption agencies, attorneys, churches and social service agencies referred hopeful couples to Fahrer, according to referral letters. She is listed as a resource in a book about adoption.

Santa Monica adoption attorney Randi Barrow knew of Fahrer through a well-established adoption agency and met her once. “I didn’t have reason to believe she was a phony in any way,” said Barrow, who later helped the Fosters complete an adoption.

For more than a year, according to the Fosters, who now live near Sacramento, they placed their hopes for a child with Fahrer. Looking back, they recognize the unreality of their situation. One adoption purportedly of a 9-year-old named Yuki fell through after Fahrer told them the boy had ties with the Japanese mafia, the Yakuza.

But they believed it all. When they received what Fahrer said were Alexandria’s ashes in a pink heart-shaped box, they grieved for their child, they said. They rented snow shoes, drove to Big Bear and buried the ashes in snow along with a piece of turquoise. “It felt very real,” Holly Foster said. Added her husband, George: “It was as if someone had actually passed away.”

They had already paid Fahrer $250 for a consultation, they said. When Alexandria “died,” they gave her $100 for flowers and $100 to cover her alleged phone calls to Japan. Later, they bought her a $600 fax machine and spent more money on information resources Fahrer sold them.

They signed a contract acknowledging that Fahrer’s services came with no guarantees. The contract also notes that Fahrer is not a licensed adoption agency. The contract gave Fahrer an even greater aura of professionalism, the Fosters said.

Another family, Rita and Curtis Yoshimura of Santa Monica, also say they hoped Fahrer could help them. In front of a crowd of people at a Christmas party, the Yoshimuras say, Fahrer announced that a birth mother had selected them. The Fosters, who also were present, recalled the same story. By Valentine’s Day, Fahrer said, the Yoshimuras would have a baby.

“I was elated,” Rita Yoshimura recalled. “It was my dream come true.” Weeks passed and Yoshimura said she kept asking for proof. When would they meet the birth mother? Did she need financial assistance? Where were the papers to sign?

The story began to unravel, and Fahrer disappeared, Yoshimura said, allegedly to a San Diego hospital where she was being treated for a tumor. Yoshimura said she pieced things together, quizzed one of Fahrer’s assistants, called phone numbers Fahrer had given her. No one knew of the mother.

“It really was an incredible mind game,” said Yoshimura, a psychoanalyst. “It was such an assault. It was such an exploitation.

Other Families Don’t Want to Relive Pain

Other families said they experienced similar scenarios, but declined to comment on the record, saying they could not relive that time in their lives.

Fahrer, meanwhile also began representing herself as someone who worked with the United Nations and the U.S. military.

She started another agency unrelated to adoption, International Resources, and in the last two years has trained actors to become drama therapists assisting refugees, according to people who participated in the program. At an orientation meeting, Fahrer told a group that she was working “officially, but unofficially” for the United Nations, according to a tape recording of the session provided by one of the participants.

Many of those actors say they paid Fahrer a nominal $15, but invested months--even years--in the training, with no results. United Nations officials said they have no knowledge of any such program, and Fahrer’s husband says it does not exist.

Ten years after their contacts with Fahrer, the Fosters and Yoshimuras said they cannot believe she is still in business.

“I hope our story can convince some of these people to wake up,” George Foster said. “She’s been around. She’s done this before.”