Mascot Would Call It Poetic Justice

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald commenting on the firing of the Florida Marlins’ mascot, Billy the Marlin, a.k.a. John Roth, in a cost-cutting move: “If Billy the Marlin decides to take the team to court, the resultant chaos would produce more interest in this franchise than there has been in the last five years combined....

“Yes, Billy the Marlin has an attorney. We do not know if this person is a mermaid, someone dressed like Neptune or Johnnie Cochran, who can allege that Billy is being discriminated against because he is blue and silver.

“If the mascot’s bill is really long, the Marlins must be really wrong.”

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Trivia time: Which player holds the NFL record for career fumble recoveries?

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Softer league? Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram on the Cowboys’ Darren Woodson being fined $75,000 for his hit on Seattle receiver Darrell Jackson:

“Big hits are taboo. Give it a couple of years, and bowling may be more physical than the NFL.... For once, I will refrain from allowing my totally biased opinion to become heavily involved. Woodson, however, has been wrongly convicted by the NFL of a football felony.

“If anything, his bull’s-eye hit on [Jackson] was nothing more than a misdemeanor.”

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Early pressure: Rose Elizabeth Henman had barely taken her first breath last weekend before British bookmakers offered odds of 250-1 on her chances of one day winning a Wimbledon tennis championship.

Her father, Tim Henman, has yet to achieve Wimbledon glory himself but is ranked ninth in the world. Baby Rose’s every move will be scrutinized by the British tabloids.

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Spirit of 76er: Keith Olbermann of ABC radio: “The [NBA] season was barely an hour old when Allen Iverson threw out the first televised obscenity. Nice to see he’s in midseason form.”

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Calculated handicap: Comedian Robin Williams, on the skinflint reputation of the Angels’ parent corporation: “Disney doesn’t pay. That’s why the mouse has only three fingers, so he can’t pick up a check.”

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Exasperated: Bob Hille in the Sporting News: “At this point in the season, [the BCS rankings] are overblown, they’re overexposed and, truly, they make little sense. In short, they’re Lee Corso.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1990, Houston’s David Klingler threw seven touchdown passes to overcome the performance of Texas Christian substitute quarterback Matt Vogler, who passed for 690 yards. Houston won, 56-35.

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Trivia answer: Quarterback Warren Moon, 56, all his own.

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And finally: Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “Another sport, another drug scandal. This time it’s fencing, where France’s Loic Attelly, a silver medalist at last year’s world championships, has tested positive for the banned steroid nandrolone.

“In fact, not only did his ‘A’ urine sample flunk tests in two South American laboratories, so did his ‘B’ sample, in a friendly French lab.

“In other words, it’s a swordsman’s ultimate lament: Curses -- foiled again.”

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Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald commenting on the firing of the Florida Marlins’ mascot, Billy the Marlin, a.k.a. John Roth, in a cost-cutting move: “If Billy the Marlin decides to take the team to court, the resultant chaos would produce more interest in this franchise than there has been in the last five years combined....

“Yes, Billy the Marlin has an attorney. We do not know if this person is a mermaid, someone dressed like Neptune or Johnnie Cochran, who can allege that Billy is being discriminated against because he is blue and silver.

“If the mascot’s bill is really long, the Marlins must be really wrong.”

Trivia time: Which player holds the NFL record for career fumble recoveries?

Softer league? Randy Galloway of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram on the Cowboys’ Darren Woodson being fined $75,000 for his hit on Seattle receiver Darrell Jackson:

“Big hits are taboo. Give it a couple of years, and bowling may be more physical than the NFL.... For once, I will refrain from allowing my totally biased opinion to become heavily involved. Woodson, however, has been wrongly convicted by the NFL of a football felony.

“If anything, his bull’s-eye hit on [Jackson] was nothing more than a misdemeanor.”

Early pressure: Rose Elizabeth Henman had barely taken her first breath last weekend before British bookmakers offered odds of 250-1 on her chances of one day winning a Wimbledon tennis championship.

Her father, Tim Henman, has yet to achieve Wimbledon glory himself but is ranked ninth in the world. Baby Rose’s every move will be scrutinized by the British tabloids.

Spirit of 76er: Keith Olbermann of ABC radio: “The [NBA] season was barely an hour old when Allen Iverson threw out the first televised obscenity. Nice to see he’s in midseason form.”

Calculated handicap: Comedian Robin Williams, on the skinflint reputation of the Angels’ parent corporation: “Disney doesn’t pay. That’s why the mouse has only three fingers, so he can’t pick up a check.”

Exasperated: Bob Hille in the Sporting News: “At this point in the season, [the BCS rankings] are overblown, they’re overexposed and, truly, they make little sense. In short, they’re Lee Corso.”

Looking back: On Nov. 3, 1990, Houston’s David Klingler threw seven touchdown passes to overcome the performance of Texas Christian substitute quarterback Matt Vogler, who passed for 690 yards. Houston won, 56-35.

Trivia answer: Quarterback Warren Moon, 56, all his own.

And finally: Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “Another sport, another drug scandal. This time it’s fencing, where France’s Loic Attelly, a silver medalist at last year’s world championships, has tested positive for the banned steroid nandrolone.

“In fact, not only did his ‘A’ urine sample flunk tests in two South American laboratories, so did his ‘B’ sample, in a friendly French lab.

“In other words, it’s a swordsman’s ultimate lament: Curses -- foiled again.”

-- Mal Florence