The Republicans Finally Get a Break in California, and It’s Lincoln’s Nose

In Southern California, even the statues get nose jobs. Of course, in this case, a granite Abe Lincoln’s schnoz had actually been lopped off earlier by some high-pressure washing equipment in Long Beach.

So, Palms-based Sculpture Conservation Studio was hired to put Abe back together (see photo). Luckily, no spare parts were needed. “They [the city] brought us the original nose,” said the company’s Michael Reinis. “It was slightly damaged, but we were able to put it back on.”

Of course it wasn’t quite that easy. Holes had to be drilled into Abe’s nose and head. The two were reattached via steel rods that were held in place by epoxy.

I visited the statue during the rainstorm Friday. The rest of the Southland might have been falling apart, but the downpour hadn’t washed away the nose.

Body parts (cont.): The Lincoln operation reminded me of an ad spotted by Donald Benjamin of Rowland Heights (see accompanying).

Not sure whether the shop removes wax or dirt.

SWD seeks soul mate who doesn’t drool too much: Tom Greene of Echo Park happened upon an unusual singles ad posted in his neighborhood (see excerpt). The owner described her white pit bull as well mannered, polite and a virgin (he’s an indoor dog). She asked that “no mean or unpredictable dogs” apply. Commented Greene: “Being a writer-producer, I’m ashamed to say I had a fleeting thought to set up a pitch meeting at Fox. I mean really, is this any different from ‘Meet The Parents’?”

Unrelated item: Paul Schowalter of Cypress found a damaged sign that had acquired an unintended meaning (see photo). And I’m sure it was just a coincidence that the sign was in Sacramento, where the state Legislature does its business.

OK, some people find classical music boring ... including, perhaps, the printer of a concert program that Celia Brink of Cardiff came across. Maybe that would explain why one performer was described as a “painist.”

What a slip! I’ve written about Ken Bannister’s Banana Museum in Altadena, and its 17,000 collectibles, and I admit I’ve implied that Southern California is the capital of bananamania. But a Canadian performance artist who calls herself Anna Bananas provides convincing evidence to the contrary.

She pointed to a “German banana consciousness” over the last decade, with at least two museums in that nation dedicated to the fruit. And then there is Bananas herself, who stages street performances she calls “Bananas in Distress.”

She runs through a crosswalk and has her suitcase fly open leaving “several dozen banana items spread out onto the sidewalk.” She appeals to passersby, “ ‘Help me save my bananas!’ It’s quite hilarious to see who pitches in, who pulls away. When they are all packed, I award Degrees of Bananology to those who helped.”

And me? I’m green with embarrassment that I was so provincial.

*

miscelLAny: Cal State Fullerton student Pape Sow worked as a lifeguard at the university pool and had the ideal build for the position. He stands 6 feet 11, meaning he could keep his head above the water for the entire length of the pool, reports the school’s publication, Titan. I’m sure there’s a dunking joke in there somewhere.

*

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.