Names They Herd Through Grapevine

What is the surest sign of celebrity?

The answer comes from the National Farmers’ Union, an organization representing farmers and growers in England and Wales.

It recently conducted a telephone survey of 200 farmers and found that they are naming their bovines after actors, Denzel Washington; singers, Posh Spice and Kylie Minogue; girlfriends of princes, Camilla Parker Bowles, and soccer stars, Beckham and Bergkamp.

That’s David Beckham of Manchester United and Dennis Bergkamp of Arsenal.

“The influx of celebrities is just as likely to be felt in a farmer’s field as in cities and towns,” said Tim Bennett, NFU deputy president, on the organization’s Web site.

“These days, Marigold, Bluebell and Buttercup have to compete with Kylie and Posh.”

For the record, two cows in Bennett’s herd are named Penelope and Priscilla.

Trivia time: What was unusual about the way Rod Carew of the Minnesota Twins won the American League batting title in 1972?

Si o no: The Spanish daily, El Mundo, conducted an Internet poll after tennis player Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario, a four-time Grand Slam winner and former No. 1, retired this week: Should she be considered the best Spanish athlete of all time?

Sanchez-Vicario lost this vote with 62% saying no, and 38% voting yes.

Low profile: Ken Rosenthal of the Sporting News discovered a remarkable, rare species -- a front-office executive not in search of recognition:

“Don’t tell Twins’ General Manager Terry Ryan he’s the Sporting News executive of the year,” Rosenthal wrote. “Ryan isn’t looking for praise, he’s seeking to avoid it. He once warned a writer planning to write a favorable piece, ‘Don’t make me puke.’ ”

Of the 47 votes, Ryan received 23. Just keep it quiet.

Slippery slope: People are wondering how long it will take for late-night TV host Dave Letterman to whip up a top 10 list about Sacramento State football players applying nonstick cooking spray to their uniforms during a game against Montana last weekend.

There was this headline in the Independent Record of Helena, Mont.: “Sac State in Sticky Situation.”

Jon Kasper of the Missoulian summed up the fine mess with this opening paragraph: “A very large egg landed on the face of the Sacramento State’s football program Thursday. At least it won’t stick.”

Law of averages: Colorado Avalanche defenseman Derek Morris scored his first goal of the season earlier this month in a loss to the Vancouver Canucks and was appropriately sarcastic.

“After about 50 shots, it’s about time it went in,” he said.

The wait for goal No. 2 wasn’t as long.

Thursday, he scored in the first period of Colorado’s 3-1 victory over Nashville.

Trivia answer: Carew won it without hitting a home run.

And finally: President Bush, on former Detroit coach Scotty Bowman, when the Red Wings appeared at a White House ceremony honoring its Stanley Cup victory: “He gets these ruffians skating in the same direction.”

-- Lisa Dillman