One Young Soccer Player Kicks Around Thoughts on the Name of the Game
It’s youth soccer season, and during one game a Long Beach coach was trying to persuade a 9-year-old that he was destined to score the next goal.
“This ball has your name on it!” the coach exclaimed. “This ball has your name on it!”
The literal-minded lad replied: “No, that’s not my ball.”
Unclear on the concept: A multipurpose waffle maker that can, among other things, remove the wrinkles in your clothes (see photo) caught the eye of Lynn Gill of Rolling Hills.
Wonder if these ducks have AFLAC? Reinhard Koehler of San Gabriel discovered that the city of Bishop is a risky place for quackers crossing the street (see photo).
Prince Linus of Denmark? With another report from the road, Judi Birnberg of Sherman Oaks came upon a St. George, Utah, group that is willing to let Shakespeare go to the dogs--or at least to Snoopy (see accompanying).
Ouch! That price hurts! Paul Herbert of Yorba Linda quipped that a use has been found for a common nuisance (see photo). Actually, “bed bug” is trucker terminology.
No need for the SWAT team: Crime is rare in Laguna Beach, but residents keep police busy with unusual phone calls, including two that involved matters of low finance.
The Coastline Pilot said that police heard “from a resident in a drive-through who claimed that his order was incorrect and the employee refused him change.”
Then there was the Lagunan who “contacted an officer thinking she might have received more money from an ATM than she requested.” Police confirmed that she had received the right amount.
Which reminds me: I worked as a clerk in the snack shack for my son’s Little League team one afternoon and regrettably was a bit sloppy when it came time to make change. I was supposed to give one kid 50 cents back but instead handed him three quarters, realizing my mistake too late and too embarrassed to say anything.
He studied the coins in his hand for a moment, trying to make a moral decision. Then he looked over at the sign that said: “Krispy Kreme Donuts, 75 Cents.” I don’t have to tell you what he decided. (I dug into my pockets and contributed the missing quarter to the cash register.)
Her kind of billing: Angelyne, occupation unknown, the mysterious character who stars in her own billboard ads, is running for the City Council of the proposed burg of Hollywood.
Of course, surveys show that secession will most likely fail in Tinseltown. If so, her election would be meaningless, but in keeping with her career. As Angelyne bragged years ago: “I’m the first person ever to become famous for doing nothing.”
miscelLAny: Dodger season ticket holder Michael Horowicz said that the other night when the score of the Dodger game was 0-0 in the eighth inning, Nancy Bea Hefley, the always-attentive stadium organist, played “I’ve Got Plenty of Nothing.”
Hey, maybe that could be Angelyne’s campaign song!
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve. harvey@latimes.com.
