Brides Pay Princely Sum to Be Cinderellas

The marriage of Renee Rodriquez to Michael Matthews was a first-class affair, from the engraved formal invitations to the designer gown and the platinum china.

“It was extremely regal,” said Carmen Blandino, the Glendora wedding planner who helped orchestrate the ceremony at the stately St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church in Dallas. “It was royal American.”

Royalty, however, didn’t pick up the $42,000 tab that included extras such as limousine and shuttle bus service, a makeup artist for the bride and a towering wedding cake designed to look like a pile of presents.

That task fell to the bride’s parents, two Dallas school district workers who dipped into their retirement kitty to help pay the bills.

“I don’t regret anything,” said mother of the bride Yolanda Rodriguez, whose family still was buzzing about the gala months later. “It was perfect.”

Opulent weddings are nothing new for the well-to-do. But in recent years, more people of modest means have been springing for ever more lavish ceremonies. Nationwide, the average wedding cost has risen to $22,360, according to Conde Nast Bridal Group, a division of Conde Nast Publications Inc. That’s a 47% increase since 1990. The trend has helped fuel an array of businesses offering such diverse services as bridal carriage rides and fireworks displays.

Mike Ivey, who runs an Irvine company that provides disc jockeys and lighting, chalks up the cost increase to brides trying to outdo--or at least keep pace with--one another.

“They seem to get caught up with what their girlfriends have done in the past,” Ivey said. So they take steps such as ramping up room decor with fancier chairs, elaborate centerpieces and ambient lighting.

“You never saw lighting at weddings 10 years ago,” Ivey said. “You never saw crushed velvet linen.... Now it’s almost become the standard that you’re going to have some kind of fancy linens. The same with flatware. People are renting trees to bring into a ballroom. I never saw that 10 years ago, and it’s become commonplace now.”

Two trends of the last decade helped boost wedding extravaganzas. One, the booming economy, made extras such as limousines and designer gowns--once out of reach for the masses--more affordable. And secondly, the median age for getting married has risen, meaning couples increasingly have the means to kick in their own money if parents can’t foot the bill for expensive options.

Since 1982, the average age of a bride has climbed to 27 from 20, according to Conde Nast Bridal Group. And the length of engagement has doubled to 16 months, which means more time to spend more money and plan more elaborate weddings.

Whether the wedding industry will remain flush is an open question, given the uncertainties in the economy and the stock market.

“Certainly, there’s a lot of daddies out there going, ‘Oh man, I didn’t expect this when I signed those contracts,’ ” said Eileen Moneghan, president of the Assn. of Bridal Consultants in New Milford, Conn.

But for the most part, weddings are a lagging economic indicator. And many weddings this season, planned months or even years in advance, still reflect the free-spending spirit.

Brides are shimmying into gowns that cost as much as the entire wedding once did. A Vera Wang designer gown, for example, can cost up to $12,000. Many couples hire both a photographer and a videographer to record the big event.

Entertainment may include chamber music, strolling violinists and a full orchestra. An entire restaurant may be rented out for the rehearsal dinner.

Location is critical. Hotels are still common, but couples also are booking museums, sprawling estates and even lighthouses. Increasingly, couples stage “destination weddings”: ceremonies in far-flung locations where nuptials give way to vacations.

Blandino, the consultant who planned the Rodriquez-Matthews wedding last year, said she recently orchestrated a medieval-style wedding at Benedict Castle in Riverside, a structure fashioned after a castle in Spain. The groomsmen dressed like musketeers and wore swords.

Disneyland began offering after-hours ceremonies in the theme park in May 2001. The bride and her father can be ferried through the park in “Cinderella’s Crystal Coach,” led by a white horse and a footman. And after vows are exchanged, they can celebrate at a reception in Fantasyland in front of King Arthur Carrousel.

Prices start at about $40,000 for packages that include the ceremony and reception. Disneyland also will provide extras, such as rides, fireworks and a visit from Mickey, for an additional fee.

The park hosted its first after-hours wedding last year, and the second was held Sept. 15, when Rebecca Dent and her fiance, Brian Devers, tied the knot in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle. Dent, a 25-year-old grade-school teacher from San Diego, had accepted Devers’ wedding proposal in front of the castle too.

“It is my dream to do this, and we are both so excited,” she said before the wedding.

Stuart Fischoff, a Cal State Los Angeles professor who teaches on popular culture, sees all the fanfare over weddings as a waste of money--another sign that Americans are “profoundly enslaved” to whatever’s in vogue.

The peer pressure can be palpable. Socially, weddings have become a couple’s first opportunity to define themselves as a host and a hostess, said Colin Cowie, an event planner whose haute couture weddings can cost $1 million or more.

“Not only is this your wedding,” he said. “It’s the first time you make a statement of style.”

Melanie Dayani, 27, and Adam Smith, 28, made a splashy style statement in August when they tied the knot at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel in Dana Point before 210 friends and family members. The three flower girls had fresh flowers sewn into their hemlines. The silk tablecloths in the reception room matched the bridesmaids’ dresses and were covered with organza overlays trimmed in satin and topped with 3-foot-tall silver vases overflowing with white lilies, hydrangeas and orchids. The entertainment included a 20-piece orchestra. Two dozen portable trees were hauled in as part of the decorations.

“This is a great excuse to have a great party,” Dayani said before the wedding, “and have everyone you love around you.”

Elaborate weddings have been a boon to wedding consultants, whose services are needed for complex affairs. Some consultants who made $20,000 annually a decade ago are making up to $100,000, said Ann Nola, director of the Assn. of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants in San Jose.

Consultant Blandino, owner of bridal gown and special events company Princess & Lords in Glendora, said business is up about 35% compared with last year.

And consultants aren’t the only ones reaping benefits.

G&F; Carriages in Riverside said its business has tripled over the last five years, mostly because of wedding work. The company does about 10 weddings a month and is building a “Cinderella” coach shaped like a pumpkin.

Audrey Torres and Arturo Aceves hired G&F; in July to take them around the city of Orange after their wedding and then drop them off at the reception.

“Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted that little fairy tale,” the bride said. “Prince Charming taking off with ... Cinderella.”

Many modern weddings require so much upfront investment that some companies now insure them. WedSafe Inc. of Beverly Hills will guarantee weddings against all kinds of mishaps, including broken gifts, damaged gowns and members of the ceremony falling ill.

“We’ve had several instances of people knocking over a table full of crystal,” Chief Executive Roger Sandau said. “We’ve had occasions where the father of the bride suffered a heart attack the day of the wedding and the entire wedding is postponed. You’ve got a grief-stricken bride.”

A change of heart, however, is not covered.

“Nobody buys wedding insurance because they think the other person will change their mind,” Sandau said. “If that’s the worry, you probably have larger problems.”

All the extras add up. Some people even take out second mortgages on their home--something consultant Lindsey Smeets said she advises against.

“What if the wedding lasts five years, and the parents are paying on the wedding 15 years?” she said.

To avoid the sinkhole of premarital debt, wedding coordinators say couples must establish a budget and define their priorities.

“Some girls will say, ‘I have to have a dream gown, and my dream gown is a St. Pucci,’ ” Blandino said. “OK, your gown is going to cost you $5,000 and the budget is $10,000. Now we know we’re going to have a picnic in the park.”

Yolanda Rodriguez said she has no regrets about the $42,000 she spent on her daughter’s wedding, even though the costs soared past the original budget of $25,000.

“We borrowed as much as we could against our annuities,” said Rodriguez, a Dallas resident and school district administrator. Although she expects that it will take five years to replenish the fund, Rodriguez says she has memories that she and other family members will always cherish. Months after the event, she said, people “were still talking about how beautiful it was, how elegant, how everything just fit into place.”

For many Latinos, a wedding is considered the birth of a new family and therefore a reason for huge celebration. When it comes to their children, Latinos often outspend other ethnic groups, even when their income is lower, said Derene Allen, vice president with Santiago Solutions Group, a San Francisco firm that develops multicultural business strategies.

Knowing the wedding must be a grand affair, Latino couples often get help from padrinos, extended family or prominent members of the community who pitch in to help shoulder the cost, said Blandino, who specializes in Latino weddings.

“This is the whole purpose of the padrinos system,” she said.

Despite the trend for grander weddings, however, sometimes even the wealthy draw the line.

Although Dayani’s mother, who paid for her wedding, splurged on lobsters and oysters on the half shell, the bride rejected the hotel’s suggestion for an offshore fireworks display to top off the night, saving $25,000.

“I’m sure they could have made it even more grand,” she said. “But some of it was just over the top.”