Driver Fails One of Basic Sobriety Field Tests--Counting Number of Tires

It’s time for another action-packed episode in the city of Paramount’s monthly newsletter, which recounts how a motorist was pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving the other day and demanded to know why.

He was told it had something to do with the fact that his car was missing one tire and that he was leaving a shower of sparks as he maneuvered down the street.

Dueling signs: Henk Friezer of Eagle Rock found a couple of notices that were linked only by tape (see photo).

Unrelated (part II): A reader tipped me to the Web site of UC San Diego, commenting that she was surprised that the school would say greed was part of its tradition (see photo).

I phoned the campus to check and it turned out that the two terms at the top of the image were part of a neon art sculpture, “Vices and Virtues,” and the juxtaposition with “A Dynamic Tradition,” was inadvertent.

Not that the school doesn’t advocate temperance ...

Abe Lincoln’s kind of house: Another reader dispatched me an ad for a mansion with a most unusual foundation (see accompanying).

An early trick or treat: Laguna doesn’t have much crime to cover, so the city’s News-Post turned its attention to the shopper who “would not take no for an answer.”

The woman had tried to buy a pumpkin growing on a vine at a nursery but was turned down. So “she scooped the pumpkin up and fled with it to her car. The shop owner discovered that the pumpkin was missing 10 minutes later and called police.”

Alas, 10 minutes can be a long time in these matters. “Police responded to the petty theft call,” the newspaper said, but couldn’t find the pumpkin pilferer.

The News-Post added: “A full identification of the pumpkin has not been disclosed.” Not that the ID will be helpful for much longer. In a few weeks, the thief will undoubtedly alter the gourd’s looks with a carving knife for Halloween.

Don’t call us, we’ll call you: The L.A. Business Journal published some interview blunders by unsuccessful job-seekers, including the remark of one applicant who said she was leaving her current job because “all managers are jerks.” And then there was the candidate who was complimented on his choice of college and said, “I’m glad that got your attention. I didn’t really go there.”

I was reminded of my one experience as an employer when I had to hire a nanny.

Those of you who have been in the same position know that a nanny-wanted ad draws calls from every misfit in the area. Look at it from their point of view: All they have to do is watch TV while the baby sleeps or plays, the boss isn’t there, and there’s a refrigerator within walking distance.

Anyway, among the people we rejected was a woman who told us that she had hurriedly moved here from the East Coast. She added: “Don’t ask me why.”

miscelLAny: I saw a preview of this week’s episode of the TV drama “24” in which star Kiefer Sutherland tells someone over the phone, “You need to get out of Los Angeles now.” Is this another rumor about the real estate bubble bursting here?

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com. If you recover the stolen pumpkin, please turn it in to Laguna police, not Mr. Harvey.