Ego Not Endangered in S.F.

It’s tough writing about football and trying to get a word in edgewise during a weekend when everyone around here is transfixed by noise sticks and video monkeys and pigs flying over Edison Field now that the Angels are in the World Series.

We’ve become one obsessed glass-eyed menagerie -- not our usual condition; knowing what we know, this probably won’t happen again for another 42 years -- but there are hours to kill before Game 2’s opening pitch and an NFL game or two is a good way to pass the time while icing muscles strained while clambering aboard the bandwagon.

Try Fox’s 10 a.m. offering, 49ers at Saints. San Francisco comes in with the most-talked-about player in the game, a controversial figure on his own team, a long-ball threat every time he plays, a potential game-breaker who is never satisfied with the number of balls pitched his way, as arrogant as they come....

News flash: Barry Bonds is not one of a kind.

In fact, Bonds and his doppelganger conduct their business in the same town.

It would have to figure, San Francisco serving as stamping ground for both Bonds and Terrell Owens. Kansas City, Cincinnati, Cleveland -- those towns aren’t big enough (just to pick one adjective) for the two of them. San Francisco, which fashions itself as “The City” and the rest of the world -- Paris, London, Rome, Tokyo -- the suburbs, not only tolerates self-absorption but cultivates and promotes it, making it the ideal sanctuary for the twin Goliaths of I-me-mine, Bonds and Owens.

There are some base differences. Bonds was the golden child from birth -- son of a major league All-Star, godson of Willie Mays, cousin of Reggie Jackson, All-American at Arizona State, first-round draft choice. Owens played for a small college, Tennessee Chattanooga, and was the 49ers’ third-round choice in the 1996 draft. Eighty-eight players were chosen ahead of Owens, who joined a team that had spent its No. 1 pick in 1995 on another wide receiver, UCLA’s J.J. Stokes.

That may explain why Owens tries harder, breaking out the Sharpie pen in front of a prime-time Monday night audience. He’s playing catch-up.

Other than that, Owens and Bonds could have been classmates in the same career-management extension course.

* Carving Your Own Niche: Bonds has done that, turning his corner of the Giant clubhouse into Barry World, complete with personal trainer, support staff, reclining chair and big-screen TV. All that’s lacking is a warning sign: “DO NOT DISTURB. LEGEND AT WORK (OR ENGROSSED IN A FASCINATING DVD).” Owens has done it stylistically, stomping and dancing on the midfield Cowboy logo at Texas Stadium -- until Dallas safety George Teague evicted Owens from his own niche, so to speak -- and pulling a pen from his sock to sign a football for the financial advisor who represents him and the man he just burned for the touchdown.

(Seattle cornerback Shawn Springs: Just a close friend of Owens? Or an accessory to a premeditated crime against humility?)

* How to Win Friends and Influence People: Bonds doesn’t do the team thing. He doesn’t join his teammates for pregame stretching drills, he doesn’t pose for team photos, he regally waves rather than stoops to shake teammates’ hands during player introductions at home playoff games. Owens is a 49er unto himself, although quarterback Jeff Garcia does what he can to maintain their working relationship -- and Owens once cried when a rare 49er friend, reserve wide receiver Jimmy Farris, was cut.

* Employer-Employee Relations: Bonds’ spats with his manager in Pittsburgh, Jim Leyland, were legendary -- and, sometimes, captured on video. Giant Manager Dusty Baker and Bonds have cut their own deal: You give me .370 and 200 walks, I’ll give you your space. Owens’ icy-hot relationship with 49er Coach Steve Mariucci is a perennial topic on Bay Area talk shows. Last season, it nearly imploded when Owens chided Mariucci for lacking the killer instinct in an overtime loss to Chicago, suggesting that Mariucci played too cautiously in regulation because he was looking out for his friend, Bear Coach Dick Jauron.

* Life Is Not a Popularity Contest: Showboating is a way of life for Owens -- “It’s a TO thing” -- whereas Bonds picks his spots. If a certain pitcher has annoyed him, he’ll stop and stare at his 450-foot drive a littler longer than usual. His home-plate pirouette after taking Chan Ho Park deep in 1997 is just another reason Dodger fans are rooting for the Angels this week. Beloved by San Francisco fans, Bonds was booed across America as he closed in on Mark McGwire’s home-run record in 2001. From coast to coast, Owens is viewed much the same way. In a recent interview with ESPN Radio, 49er defensive tackle Dana Stubblefield estimated that 97% of the players in the NFL dislike Owens.

* Just Give Us the Damn Ball: Pitching around Bonds has become the new national pastime. Unless you ask Owens, who is convinced the 49ers have conspired to pitch around him. No player in football -- high school, college or pro -- throws bigger tantrums when a teammate scores a touchdown. As Owens loudly reminded the 49ers’ bench, and all of America, Monday night in Seattle: TO wants the ball and he wants it now. “I was frustrated,” Owens reasoned. “I want to be a big-play maker, and to do that, I need to get my hands on the ball.”

One other thing: Although Bonds is edging closer, neither Bonds nor Owens has won the big one. Before October 2002, Bonds was winless in five postseason appearances. Since Owens arrived, the 49ers are 3-4 in playoffs -- 1-3 versus Green Bay and 0-1 when playing for the NFC title.

As Bonds knows and Owens has yet to find out, that is one portion of your legacy that can’t be written by simply pulling something out of your sock.

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Sign This

How much was that autographed football by Owens worth?

Owens’ financial advisor, Greg Eastman, got it for free, but on memorabilia Web site onlinesports.com, an Owens-autographed football sells for $166.67.

Impressive, but not quite in Bonds’ league. On the same site, a Bonds-autographed baseball goes for more than twice as much, $340.38.

Other price comparisons:

Owens-autographed 8-by-10 photo: $70.

Bonds-autographed 8-by-10 photo: $166.67.

Owens-autographed mini-helmet: $131.67.

Bonds-autographed lithograph: $550.

Owens-autographed official NFL helmet: $438.46.

Bonds-autographed 8-by-10 photo with piece of “Game Used Uniform”: $799.

Signature moves?

Score it: Bonds, in a sweep over Owens.