Spurrier Has the Blank Look on Big Stage

Skip Bayless in the San Jose Mercury News: “The Eagles welcomed Steve Spurrier to the NFL’s Monday night stage by turning his Fun ‘n’ Gun offense into a funny popgun....

“Heck, 37-7 was almost as bad as making Spurrier, the ex-Florida coach, wear a hog nose and a dress and sing the Gators’ fight song for the FedEx throng of 84,982....

“Now Spurrier has precious little time to pick up the pieces before his team [the Washington Redskins] has to fly cross-country [to play San Francisco on Sunday]. No wonder the point spreads have soared to 49ers by eight or more.”

Trivia time: Who was the first soccer-style kicker in pro football?

Lost in luxury: Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “The Atlanta Journal and Constitution reported that it took Atlanta Hawk forward Theo Ratliff and his wife, Kristina, a full hour to find their missing 4-year-old daughter, who had wandered off and fallen asleep in a guest bedroom.

“For critics wondering why it took so long to find her: Let’s see how fast you can scour a 15,000-square-foot home.”

Scary: Rudy Martzke in USA Today: “Though referee Bob McElwee didn’t have much time to sort out ‘pepper spray gate’ in the final minutes of the Eagles-Redskins game, he might have used a less foreboding description than ‘a foreign substance’ was sprayed on the Eagles’ side of the field.

“ ‘If it turned out to be more serious, no one would be questioning Bob’s choice of words,’ said Greg Aiello, NFL public relations vice president. ‘We understand in the current environment people would be sensitive, and we certainly are going to review how announcements should be made.’ ”

He needs to hide: The Cleveland Plain Dealer, sizing up Florida’s game at No. 4 Tennessee on Saturday: “Ron Zook needs an unlisted number after a 41-16 loss to Miami in his second game as Florida’s head coach. He [also] might need the Witness Protection Program after playing in Knoxville.”

Bass reaction: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “A Houston man was awarded $75,225 for damages and stress of living next to a ballpark. In a related story, fish in McCovey Cove have filed a class-action suit against Barry Bonds.”

And Tony La Russa: From the Caught on the Fly column in the Sporting News: “Fly’s Top 5 or ‘Why’s St. Loo still at the table with the stakes so high? Credit Walt Jocketty for not folding and getting a new set of Cards: 1. Scott Rolen; 2. Chuck Finley; 3. Rick White; 4. Jeff Fassero; 5. Jamey Wright.”

Looking back: On this day in 1952, USC opened the season with a 35-7 victory over Washington State at the Coliseum. The Trojans finished 10-1, defeating Wisconsin, 7-0, in the Rose Bowl game.

Trivia answer: Pete Gogolak, who was a rookie with the AFL Buffalo Bills in 1964.

And finally: Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, on quarterback Rodney Peete leading the Carolina Panthers to a 31-7 victory over the Lions: “I thought Rodney Peete retired! I saw him at the Super Bowl last year and judging by the expanding waistline, I figured, ‘Here’s a man who has grown happy with home cooking.’ But here he was Sunday, at age 36, dropping passes over Lion defenders like a kid shooting marbles.”