Volunteers Seek to Calm Fears for Loved Ones Sent Overseas

By the time the first war against Iraq began in 1991, Bertha Sanchez’s nerves were frayed. Her two sons were in the military and stationed in the Persian Gulf.

She just wanted to know they were alive. She didn’t speak English. She didn’t know whom to call. At one point she walked into an Army recruiting station in Los Angeles, seeking any kernel of information. She was laughed at, she said, by officers who said they couldn’t tell her anything.

Sanchez got mad, then formed a group with her sister Dolores to help other families cope with the stress of having loved ones fighting overseas. It was such a success that the group reunited Tuesday night for the first time in 12 years, ready once again to battle jangled nerves on the home front and the military bureaucracy.

Calling themselves Support for Military Families, or “Apoyo Para Familias Militares,” about 20 people gathered at the American Red Cross office in East Los Angeles to train volunteers to field calls from parents, mothers, brothers and sisters worried about their loved ones in uniform.

It worked in 1991.

“As soon as we opened the center the last time, we started getting calls from all over the place,” Bertha Sanchez said. “Hawaii, Nicaragua, Puerto Rico. People just wanted to know they weren’t the only ones going through this.”

Sanchez and others in the community said that many Latinos have difficulty getting information about family members in the military. In some cases, they’re afraid to call a government agency because they are undocumented and fear being deported.

Or, more often, they simply don’t know whom to call.

“Of Californians who go into the military, Latinos make up a very high number,” Dolores Sanchez said. Many of their families, she added, suspect that Latinos and members of other minorities, particularly those from lower-income areas, are more likely to be sent to the most dangerous places.

The group’s goal is to give families a place to gather with others going through the same emotions as the war unfolds.

“The most important thing we do is invite them to come to our center and congregate and support one another,” she said.

During the first Gulf War, the group held potlucks, taped photos of their soldiers on the walls and gathered to talk about how they were coping.

More than 500 families took advantage of the services. Many people took to spending hours at the group’s headquarters in Lincoln Heights because that was better than sitting at home and listening to the drone of the televised war coverage.

“It’s a comfort zone,” said Los Angeles County Supervisor Gloria Molina, who helped the group with a small donation and logistical support. “It takes away all the bureaucracy and makes a place that feels like a neighborhood, where we can provide them information and connect them to their children” or other family members.

This time around, the group plans to expand its services, said Dolores Sanchez. For example, computers will be available for families who don’t have them and want to send e-mail to soldiers.

Counselors will also be on hand to help families with an array of problems, whether they are financial or involve child care. Those who need to reach soldiers in the field because of family emergencies can be referred to the Red Cross, which handles such matters.

The Sanchez sisters weren’t sure they wanted to plunge back into running the support group during this war. Dolores, 49, considers herself a pacifist, but couldn’t stand the thought that Latino families might have nowhere to turn. Bertha, 59, is recovering from surgery, and her sons aren’t fighting in this war.

But she remembers vividly what it was like when her boys were gone for months and she rarely heard from them.

At one point, her son Marco called after she hadn’t heard from him for weeks.

“Mom, I’m fine. I love you; pray for me,” he said.

And then the call was cut off.

“I remember feeling numb,” she said. “But I didn’t want to stay home crying and watching the television. I thought I should do something to help other mothers and brothers.”

The group will begin its toll-free hotline today from 1 to 10 p.m. Beginning Thursday, the hotline will be staffed between 10 a.m. and 9 p.m. on weekdays and on Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

The number is (800) 213-7001. Families are also welcome to visit the group’s room at the American Red Cross building at 5051 E. 3rd St.