Red Wing Fans Can Give City’s Title to Anaheim

Well, here we are in Anaheim, otherwise known around here as “Hockeytown U.S.A.,” home of the Mighty Ducks, Cheesy, Stumpy and Jiggy the Goalie, and feeling a little sorry for the folks in Detroit who just don’t seem to get it.

Red Wing fans think so little of the fine sport of hockey they’ll throw an octopus on the ice, and do you know how hard it is to peel a slimy octopus off the ice?

The other night they booed the hometown team while they left their hockey arena -- which is named after a boxer.

When they do cheer, it’s what you’d expect from fans who are already used to supporting losing football and baseball teams. They chant, “Raise Your Hands,” a call for surrender, I would guess, and so the Red Wings did -- losing twice to the Mighty Ducks.

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IN CONTRAST to the Red Wings, of course, the Ducks have a hockey-rich tradition with “Wild Wing” swooping down from the ceiling to find two blondes waiting for him on the ice, a very nice subliminal message that success has its rewards here in Hockeytown U.S.A. (I know that’s what brought me here tonight.)

There’s a statue of Wild Wing outside the Arrowhead Pond, which has to make Mr. and Mrs. Wing very proud. And Monday night, every fan entering the building received a “fowl towel,” and this might be the only place in the country where a fowl towel is considered a keepsake.

I noticed the difference in Duck and Red Wing fans right away, of course, because Duck fans appear to care so much for their team they have shown up in new sweaters or sweatshirts looking as if they just bought them this week.

The Red Wing faithful, who moved out of Detroit as quickly as they could to find a better life in California, came here in faded red sweaters with their names on the back. Every one of them seemed to be named, “Howe,” which must be a pretty common name in Detroit.

Ann Thompson, a former Detroit resident and wearing a Red Wing jersey for her visit, said, “Even when the Red Wings aren’t doing very well, we’re cheering for them every game.” Ann should find it real easy to settle in here as a Dodger fan.

Lake Forest’s Cody Buijnink, 15, painted his face purple, white and green to support the Ducks. Tough to tell if the Red Wing fans had painted their faces or were just red from embarrassment after being whipped twice back home.

There are a number of advantages to being a Duck fan. You can buy official Arrowhead Pond water here and have it delivered to your home. You can’t buy official Arrowhead Pond water in Detroit, which probably accounts for the long lines there to buy beer. There wasn’t anyone in line at the beer stand here, and the Disney folks had a fella named “Church” monitoring beer sales.

“If I was selling beer in Detroit the line would probably extend all the way to the next beer stand,” said Chandler Church, and I’d imagine you have to drink a lot to live in Detroit.

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WHEN IT came time for Game 3 to be played, and I can’t believe I somehow missed the first two, I was really impressed with the way Duck fans behaved. When smoke began pouring out of the overhead scoreboard, no one yelled, “Fire,” which tells me most of these people have been here before.

Then they played the first period, and it was vintage playoff hockey. No one scored. Back in Detroit it was after 11 p.m. Think about that if you’re in the market to buy a new car, and reflect for a moment on the shape these people are going to be in today when they arrive at the assembly line.

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TOMI MAIERS blew a Duck call directly into my face on behalf of the Ducks’ Booster Club, and said I could get my very own for $10 in the gift shop. “I’m a librarian at the Golden Springs Elementary School and I use this on the kids in the library,” Maiers said. And some people wonder why our children have trouble reading.

I didn’t want to miss a second of the scoreless action, so I returned to the game to see the Ducks score a goal. My favorite Ducky, Sammy Pahlsson, beat Cujo and put the biscuit in the basket (and you didn’t think I knew anything about hockey).

Sammy, by the way, likes Swedish rock music and according to the Duck media guide “always puts his equipment on left side first.” But then don’t we all.

The second period ended with the Red Wings frustrated by Jiggy, down 1-0, and it’s now after midnight in Detroit, and what are those folks going to do now that the bars are closing?

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THERE’S A sportswriter in Detroit who grades the team’s performance. He calls it the “octometer,” and rates the team on a scale of “one to four octopi.” You can imagine the pressure the Wings must feel from game-to-game wondering where they’re going to rate on the octopi scale, which is why here at the Times some of us don’t like to go to every hockey game and put the guys under that kind of heat.

The Red Wing goalie cracked under such octometer scrutiny and allowed Anaheim to go up 2-0 in the third period. In hockey terms, that was game, set, match, and now I worry some of those people in Detroit are going to want to move here to Hockeytown U.S.A., and jump on the Duck bandwagon. Imagine that.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Bucky Reich:

“In case you didn’t watch, Phil Mickelson shot a 68 at the Masters Sunday, beating your hero, Tiger Woods, by seven shots. But I’ll bet you’re probably going to write in your column Phil choked big time just because he didn’t win.”

I’m glad you reminded me: Phil choked big time once again.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com