Time Is of the Essence to Pin Name on Donkey

Today marks the start of the “Save Our Season” (SOS) campaign, and the Dodger donkey mascot contest with entrants urged to e-mail a rallying cry and/or name for the donkey to The Times.

The winner will receive two tickets to an Angel game.

The runner-up will get four tickets to a Dodger game.

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A YEAR ago the Angels began the season 6-14 before getting a boost from the Rally Monkey, who took them all the way to a World Series victory.

The SOS campaign begins with the Dodgers in worse shape than the Angels, already about to be eliminated from the division race, but I don’t think it would be right to steal the Angels’ thundershtick, so to speak, and call the Dodgers’ new mascot the Rally Donkey.

So I’m looking for another inspiring word to go with donkey, or maybe a donkey slogan to fire up the fans, appear on the scoreboard, and wake up the hitters.

“How about something besides a donkey -- a donkey makes you think of a jackass,” Brian Jordan said.

Geez, I said, I never thought of that.

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THAT REMINDS me, though, and I’m not going where you think I might be going. I hope no one incorporates the word “mule” in the Dodgers’ rallying cry either, because it’s not Fred McGriff’s fault he runs so slow and that might be hitting a little too close to home. (Fooled you -- you thought I was going to take the opportunity there to make fun of Kevin Brown, didn’t you?)

The idea here is to help the guys, and that’s what I told Darren Dreifort on Saturday night, and he replied, “I don’t care.”

We’ve probably got a real problem here if the Dodgers don’t care. But I know when I think of a donkey, I think of kicking butt, and if the fans are calling for the donkey maybe the players will get the message.

“I really don’t care,” repeated Dreifort, and I’m pretty sure a picture on the scoreboard of Dreifort bending over to pick up the rosin bag and getting a swift kick in the wallet by the new (fill in the blank) donkey would go over big with paying fans.

If you recall, the Angels had a similar Dreifort-like problem with Jarrod Washburn and the Rally Monkey. Washburn blasted Angel management for employing the monkey, saying it was “making a mockery of the game.” It’s a good thing no one pays attention to anything Washburn has to say.

Now I’ll say this for Jordan, he embraced the idea of a Dodger mascot, and said, “I’m going to be interested in the fans’ pick for a mascot. I liked watching the Rally Monkey, and the first time I saw the bit with the monkey and Jurassic Park, that was awesome. But not a donkey. Can you imagine the fans going, ‘Hee-haw?’ ”

You mean more than usual?

I’d think 50,000 fans all going “hee-haw” at the same time would be a real kick. It’d be nice to hear something beside the sound of cars being started early.

“Why not?” Paul Lo Duca said. “Maybe we could dress up the Grocery Store Bagger as a donkey.”

No need to dress him up, I said.

“Do you think a donkey would help? I doubt it,” said Micro-Manager Jim Tracy, who asks and answers all questions. “Do you think RBIs would help? I do.”

For a guy who has all the answers, it makes you wonder why the Dodgers find themselves 8 1/2 games behind the Giants and in need of an SOS miracle.

“Do you want to go with a donkey?” Tracy said. “OK, then make it a pinata, and have everyone smack it so runs come out.”

It’s already been a long season for Tracy, and you can see the toll it has taken. Runs packed into a pinata -- sure Jim, do I think you need a day off? Yes.

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OBVIOUSLY THE Dodgers need help, and while thanks are in order to e-mailers Joe Axelson and Eric Figueroa for sending in Dodger donkey pictures, the contest winner must provide just the right slogan or rallying cry to save the Dodgers.

“How about for every game we win,” Shawn Green said, “you agree not to show up the next day? Now that’s incentive.”

Green won’t win anything, of course, because he plays for the Dodgers. Everyone else is urged to submit their long ears’ suggestions to my e-mail address below. The contest will end the day both Adrian Beltre (.190) and McGriff (.179) are hitting above .200, or I get tired of waiting for that miracle.

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DODGER MANAGEMENT will do everything it can to stop the Dodger Donkey momentum. They believe the key to success is giving away blue wigs and waving foam fingers at the opposition. That junk might draw large crowds, but it doesn’t provide the kind of electricity the Rally Monkey gives the Angels to ignite a rally, and the way this team is playing, it’s going to have to rally most every game.

As much as I like Nancy Bea Hefley on the organ, that rat-a-tat-tat rallying ditty between pitches could never match the excitement that would build with the anticipated arrival of the (fill in the blank) donkey. It might be the only reason to hang around Dodger Stadium these days.

On the bright side, if the Dodgers lose, knowing how much these guys don’t like to take the blame for being crummy, they could just pin it on the donkey.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Jenifer Fetzer:

“You came across as a complete buffoon in your article that was reprinted in the Detroit News about Anaheim’s hockey fans. I was amazed you would go into fan bashing instead of talking about how well your team did, or how happy you are to be a Ducks’ fan.”

The important thing is, the fans here know how I feel about the Ducks.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.