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For Richer or Poorer, In Sickness and In Health, In Jail or On Bail ...

Jack Goertzen, a retired state appellate judge, sent along “another installment on the wonders of true love,” as recounted in the Laguna Beach Independent. It seems that a woman was arrested for allegedly assaulting her husband, but she didn’t stay locked up for long. The newspaper said the husband “posted bail so that the couple could resume the celebration of their wedding night.”

Unclear on the concept: After reading the puzzling warning on some medicine for his cat Daisy, Richard Hirsch of Santa Monica quipped: “We have taken the car keys away and locked the liquor cabinet” (see accompanying).

This is not a Halloween joke: Blood drives can take place at the most interesting locations, points out Thomas Fitzpatrick of Wilmington, furnishing some recent evidence (see photo).

Election daze: You’ve heard questions raised about whether there’ll be enough polling places for the recall election and whether the punch-card ballots will cause problems. Well, Peter Lee noticed that an L.A. County Web site urging employees to volunteer to work that day wouldn’t calm those fears. It initially said the election was Oct. 4 (a Saturday). The date has since been corrected to read Oct. 7.

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He ain’t chicken feed: It appears that the dispute between USC and the owner of Traveler, the school’s mascot, has been worked out, and the horse will gallop on the sidelines during football games this year.

But designer Amy Inouye, rescuer of the mascot of a defunct eatery, says that if Traveler ever decides to sit out the season, her Chicken Boy can stand in (see photo illustration). She’s looking for work for him.

Apart from his aesthetic appeal, CB possesses certain advantages. Inouye can guarantee that he would never run wild on the Coliseum floor, something Traveler has been known to do. Over the years, Traveler has thrown its rider, bumped a Stanford cheerleader and even seemed to take a charge at the USC team bench one afternoon when the Trojans were losing.

Chicken Boy has a much calmer demeanor.

And, of course, CB requires no feed (and no shoveler).

MiscelLAny: On the subject of dealing with telemarketers, Ardelia Payne of Hemet received a call from a man promoting a vacuum cleaner. He gave a long spiel about its splendid capabilities. “That sounds wonderful,” said Payne. “What a shame -- me with a dirt floor.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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