What, Schwarzenegger Vague? He Was Once Mighty Explicit

Hey, I’m no prude. But I felt more than a little embarrassed while reading details of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Don Juan days to the Rev. Louis P. Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition.

“Go ahead,” Rev. Sheldon encouraged in a somber tone. “I’m an adult.”

Yeah, but this stuff could make a sailor blush. The comments by Schwarzenegger were from a 1977 Oui magazine article that’s been making the rounds.

I’m guessing it’s a tossup as to whether Schwarzenegger’s randy remarks will cost him, or win him, Republican votes. He’s got sort of an old-fashioned take on the role of women, you might say, and his slurs against gays might not hurt him with some conservatives, either.

But you don’t want to have to explain bawdy comments about group sex in the gym, hanging out with hookers or getting high on grass and hashish the very week you’re trying to climb into bed with true conservatives who doubt you’re one of them.

As I began quoting from the Oui article, there was stony silence from the Rev. Sheldon, the head of Californians for Moral Government.

“Everybody jumped on” a naked woman at Gold’s Gym in Venice, Schwarzenegger said in describing an impromptu orgy. But then he qualified the claim, saying some men can’t [perform] in front of others, because they’re insecure about the size of their [action figure].

There was lots of talk about [action figures] in the article, including Arnold’s. He said that lifting weights won’t add any bulk down there, but it’s clear from the size of his biceps that he never stopped trying.

I asked the good reverend if it was OK for me to go on.

“I appreciate the explicitness of this,” Rev. Sheldon said, giving me permission to continue. “This is pretty serious.”

I think I might have heard a sigh from him when I read Arnold’s observation that if a woman measured up in the sack, “She can weigh 150 pounds, I don’t care.” Then there was the part about “girls backstage” at the 1972 Mr. Olympia contest paying special attention to the contestants’ [action figures].

“I went out there feeling like King Kong,” said Schwarzenegger, who won the event.

In fairness to Arnold, the Oui article was published a long time ago. He was just 29 and had not yet married Maria Shriver, the daughter of a Kennedy. But you have to wonder whether his behavior and attitudes will raise lasting concerns among true believers, and among women who might be thinking, “What a [action figure] this guy is.”

“I don’t think so,” said K.B. Forbes, a spokesman for Bill Simon Jr., the conservative candidate who dropped out of the race on Saturday. People don’t want old news, Forbes said. They want to hear about job creation and solutions to the budget deficit.

Maybe so, but they haven’t heard much of either from Arnold.

The Rev. Sheldon was already praying for Arnold because of the candidate’s moderate views on abortion, among other things. When I had finished reading him the Oui article, Sheldon was in a lather.

There is only one way for Arnold to save the conservative vote (not to mention his soul), Sheldon said, and stand tall as the moral leader of the great state of California.

“He must repent. George W. Bush fully repented and has abstained from hard alcohol for many years.”

You cannot go around calling yourself a Ronald Reagan conservative when the facts of your life tell a different story, said the reverend.

Wait a minute. Wasn’t Nancy pregnant when Ron married her? Before I could bring it up, Sheldon surprised me by tossing a compliment to Gray Davis.

“We’re at opposite ends politically, but the man stays with his dear wife every night.”

Amen.

“In light of all these revelations,” the reverend went on, “Mr. Schwarzenegger must repudiate and repent, even though it’s been a quarter of a century.... You do not want people thinking they can [take turns having their way with] a woman, even if she makes herself available. That is not morally right. The lust of the flesh leads to destruction.”

Hallelujah, brother. But I’m not sure Schwarzenegger has seen the light.

“I never lived my life to be a politician,” he said this week on a radio show. “I never lived my life to be the governor of California.”

There it is: the perfect Arnold bumper sticker.

“Obviously, I’ve made statements that are ludicrous and crazy and outrageous and all of those things,” Arnold went on, “because that’s the way I always was.”

Doesn’t sound like repenting to me.

“I think he needs to say, ‘It was wrong for me to do this,’ ” the Rev. Sheldon says. “Is this still continuing? Would he ever do this again? Would he promise he’s not going to chase interns around the desk in the office?”

Only time will tell. But I’m beginning to see what Maria Shriver saw in Arnold. In at least one way, he kind of reminds you of the Kennedy boys.

Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve

.lopez@latimes.com.