Hollywood holidays

Gift-GIVING in Hollywood is a year-round competitive sport. So it’s no surprise that come holiday season, the rich and well preserved (and those who get stuck shopping for them) are challenged to find that certain something for the person who has, if not everything, more than enough.

Necessity, naturally, is irrelevant. Often it’s about luxury and the kind of rarefied detachment found only here, where people hand over $75 leather dog booties, $54,900 Von Dutch motorcycles, $28,000 Jacob & Co. watches, and $5,900 sets of Murano “devil” glasses without feeling the least bit embarrassed.

While the rest of the country may buy for the mailman and the baby sitter, in L.A. gifts must be bought for studio heads, agents, backup dancers, gurus, Pilates instructors and cosmetic surgeons.

At a certain Spielbergian-Hanksian level, extravagant becomes tedious and creative is better, according to Greg Jordan, an interior designer who works with celebrities. “You go to the set and there are 30 big floral displays they’ve gotten,” he said. “So maybe you send a tiny cup of lilies of the valley, something really understated ... instead of a $4,000 sweater from Hermes. So many people have the next cool thing. So to discover something that’s quite thoughtful, that’s more about the gesture than the price tag, you kind of have to work a little harder.”

That’s why the actor John C. Reilly is buying gifts from Atwater Pottery, the new digs for Silver Lake groovester Adam Silverman (who used to own XLarge clothing). The hand-thrown stoneware and porcelain pieces cost less than $100.

And Madonna, Kelly Osbourne and Mandy Moore are grabbing up $36 Rabbi’s Daughters tees emblazoned with Yiddish terms like “shiksa,” “meshuggenah” and “tush” in Hebrew-style script, for sale at boutiques listed at rabbisdaughters.com. (The clothing line for women and children was founded by Nina Bush, Myla Fraser and Daniella Zax, whose father, Jerry Cutler, is a rabbi at Creative Arts Temple in L.A.)

Faux vintage rock ‘n’ roll concert tees by Trunk, an L.A. company, are the rage in some circles. Jessica Simpson nabbed a $77 Doors version at Dari in Studio City for hubby Nick Lachey. Kitson, a West Hollywood store that caters to a celebrity clientele, is doing a brisk business in $38 celebrity-wife tank tops with “Mrs. Affleck,” “Mrs. Clooney” or “Mrs. Kutcher” in Gothic lettering on the front.

Consolation for a sellout

Last season, Juicy Couture’s $400 cashmere tracksuit was the cozy gift of the season. But this year, everyone wants to give and get Ugg boots. The only trouble is, they are sold out from coast to coast. Sarah Jessica Parker has even been calling L.A. stores from New York trying to score a pair. Sunset Plaza boutique owner Tracey Ross reports that the rocker crowd is instead buying Arlene C’s $140 sheepskin scuff-style slippers. They’re decorated with crystals in the shape of a skull and crossbones or peace sign.

Kashwere bathrobes, which were first popularized by the Sunset Marquis, a hotel with a particularly stylish clientele, are now available in stores for $120. The synthetic cover-ups, which some swear are softer than cashmere, have been scooped up by Elizabeth Hurley, Charlize Theron and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen at Intuition, a West Los Angeles boutique. “People are putting them on their private planes,” owner Jaye Hirsh said. “They are so delicious.”

Then again, sometimes nothing beats a little novelty. Just ask stylist Cary Fetman, whose client Joan Rivers was cackling in the background as he offered his on-the-spot gift guide: “The Paris Hilton video! That is my favorite because it suits both men and women and comes in the proper size. It is the gift that keeps on giving.” (Decorum prevents this family newspaper from divulging where the tape can be purchased, although those with e-mail have probably already received explicit ordering instructions.)

At the other end of the spectrum, ersatz spirituality seems never to go out of style in Hollywood.

For her dancers, Britney Spears nabbed $2,000 “dreamcatcher pendants” by Lisa Parodi Designs at Intuition. According to Native American lore, good dreams catch on the web, and bad dreams pass through. (In Parodi’s version, Spears’ dancers will have 2.3 carats of diamonds working in their favor.)

Perhaps to appease the gods of good fortune, celebrities often choose charitable gifts.

Actress Patricia Heaton will be making donations in the names of friends and loved ones to Heifer International, a nonprofit that buys goats, cows, llamas and other livestock for hungry people in impoverished countries. Prices range from $10 for a share of an animal to $120 for a goat, $500 for a cow and $5,000 for a whole “gift ark” collection of animals.

Celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch has more than 800 people on his gift list, he said, which is why he’s turning to hot nonprofits (yes, trendiness even infects the world of good works) such as Hollygrove Children and Family Services, Children’s Action Network and the Rape Treatment Center in Santa Monica.

For his family, Bloch engages in the practice known as regifting, reallocating what he calls “the goodie bag stuff I get all year.” He didn’t say whether his nearest and dearest mind that they are getting hand-me-downs. “For them it’s like amazing treats.”

Goodwill aside, gifting in Hollywood is often also about self-promotion. “At a certain level, gift giving is a good public relations tool,” said Jordan, the interior designer. “It’s a calling card.”

Last year, producer Christine Forsyth-Peters sent studio execs cookies with icing sketches from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” the little book of illustrations that her film was based on. “I got so much response because it was fun, and it meant more than those Tiffany mugs everyone in L.A. was sending out for a while,” she said.

When he’s not plundering this year’s gift bags, Bloch plans to wrap up $8.99 Gillette MACH3Turbo Champion razors and EBay gift certificates. He’s a spokesman for both companies.

When you’re on the receiving end, gifts let you know where you stand in this town. At talent agencies, it’s widely known there are A, B and C gifts. People won’t talk openly about it because it basically means someone’s career is on the rise, and someone else’s is in the toilet. But it’s safe to say that if you’re opening a stingray-skin business card case on Christmas morn, you might want to start shopping around for new representation.

On the other hand, life is good if you’re getting a $2,500 espresso machine, $500 worth of Japanese green tea or a $700 putter courtesy of DreamWorks or Sony Pictures, both of which rely on corporate gift company Star Treatment to shop for gifts for celebs such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts, Jack Nicholson, Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith.

Even so, Marnie Lerner, co-founder of the Van Nuys-based Star Treatment, said that this year studio gifts are not nearly as over the top as they could be. “It seems like their budgeting is being restructured,” she said.

Forsyth-Peters agrees. The gift exchange in Hollywood is nothing like it was in the high-flying ‘80s and ‘90s, when her ex-husband, Jon Peters, who produced “Batman,” “Rain Man” and “The Color Purple,” once received “a room full of chocolate.”

“I feel what’s more important now,” she said, “is a connection.”