Motorists in Mission Viejo Get a Stark View Through Their Windshields

Naked came the squeegee: The crime log of the Saddleback Valley News reported a sighting of “a naked male subject [who] runs out of bushes with Windex and rag and runs up to cars at the intersection and tries to wipe their windows.” The Mission Viejo intersection is near Saddleback College.

Why do I suspect the perp is a student either undergoing some initiation or winning a bet?

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The Raiders weren’t feeling so well either: If you overindulged on Super Bowl day, as I did, you may have felt as though you were living on a street spotted by Neil Dixon of Venice (see photo).

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Too much of a good thing? Julie Towery of San Luis Obispo observed that whoever won a hotel chain’s sweepstakes is going to be feeling pretty darned tired by March 15 (see accompanying).

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More information than we need: Further evidence that people are becoming obsessed with nutritional labels was provided by Kent Bridwell of West L.A. (see accompanying).

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A day to dishonor the worst: My favorite Hollywood awards show -- the Razzies -- is March 22, and as usual the voters will have some tough choices to make in singling out the year’s most inept movie performances.

Eddie Murphy, for instance, would be a strong contender for worst actor for “Pluto Nash,” but his support could be splintered since he’s also nominated by the Razzies group for “I Spy” and “Showtime.”

Thus, the winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it) could be Italy’s Roberto Benigni, the 50-year-old man in the title role of “Pinocchio.” (Yes, he plays the boy -- may my nose grow if I’m fibbing.)

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Wooden actors (cont.): Whatever, Benigni has assured himself of membership in the Most Miscast Actors of All Time Club, which includes:

John Wayne as Genghis Khan in “The Conqueror” (1956).

Frank Sinatra in the title role, “The Kissing Bandit” (1948).

Yul Brynner as Pancho Villa, “Villa Rides” (1968).

Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand in “Christopher Columbus: The Discovery” (1992).

And Tony Curtis as a Cossack warrior with a Bronx accent in “Taras Bulba” (1962), which also starred Brynner, but not as Pancho Villa.*

miscelLAny: The Malibu Times said a resident “told sheriff’s deputies he couldn’t understand why anyone would steal his 20-year-old, rusty bicycle with a flat tire.” The bike, kept in the car port, “hadn’t been moved in about a year.” A real mystery -- unless someone mistakenly put it out with the trash.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.