Just One Question for ‘Recall Davis’ Forces: Now What?

While in Santa Barbara over the weekend, I was drawn to a Gov. Gray Davis recall table set up along pedestrian-friendly State Street. I tried to resist the tug, but there’s a car-wreck quality to California politics, and sometimes you can’t help but rubberneck.

We all know that in theory, democracy is a good idea. But I find it peculiar that you can saunter up to a table on a gorgeous summer day and sign on to boot the state’s top dog out of office in midterm, the whole transaction faster and simpler than if you were buying Girl Scout cookies.

The recall hustlers worked the crowd with great success, piling up signatures. One young man scribbled his name and then, with a satisfied grin, proclaimed to his friends that Gov. Davis was history.

One of the brighter bulbs in this group asked a “then what?” question. What’s Davis’ replacement going to do about the budget fiasco and an incompetent Legislature that can’t agree on whether to strip services, raise taxes, or both?

The query drew a look of puzzlement. The recall supporter had just done what passes for civic duty in California -- he had signed a petition. But he had not thought beyond the cheap satisfaction of the act, and so he stood there with his mouth open, looking dumber than ham.

What we have here, from Crescent City to Coronado, is democracy run amok. The Santa Barbara scene is a snapshot of the typical Californian’s role in public affairs, which can be described in a single paragraph:

Pay no attention. Pay no attention. Pay no attention. Get hopping mad about what happened while no one was paying attention. Sign a petition. Skip the election. Complain briefly about the consequences. Pay no attention. Pay no attention. Pay no attention.

Recall supporters claim they’re finally over the top, having collected enough signatures for an election that could take place as early as September. Not that we know who the candidates will be.

“Whether or not Davis is removed from office,” Republican strategist Dan Schnur told The Times, “this is going to be something historians look back at as an expression of direct democracy in a way that’s never been accomplished.”

Direct democracy, in this case, means that a third-rate California congressman with Idaho politics wants to be governor. Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Vista) forked over more than $800,000 from his own wad to bankroll the recall campaign.

It will cost taxpayers at least $25 million to hold the election, even as state Republicans propose wiping out funding for the burial of foster children and cutting off food supplies for seeing-eye dogs.

Before the GOP suggests taking back batteries for hearing aids and snatching wheelchairs from old ladies, I’d like to suggest that the party is making a big mistake with the recall.

I’m no fan of Gray Davis. No one with a beating heart can love the man, even though he alone did not create the state’s problems.

Still, this recall is the dumbest move the GOP has made since running Dan Lungren for governor. That poor man nearly drowned on live television, sweating like a sow in a sauna during a debate against Davis.

Of all the possible outcomes in the recall, most of them are disastrous for the GOP.

Davis could win, which would make it three times in a row that Republicans couldn’t beat a guy less popular than public transit.

Worse yet for the GOP, Issa could win. Then the party would have to spend three long years trying to explain why it keeps trotting out dinosaurs in the nation’s most progressive state.

If the Republicans were to find a decent candidate, Democrats might send Davis into early retirement and put Dianne Feinstein on the ballot.

And if by some miracle a Republican were to win, he’d inherit the nightmare of trying to solve problems while a resentful, Democrat-dominated Legislature eagerly sabotages him at every turn.

In short, the GOP has given us a recall drive that only made sense until it actually appeared to qualify for the ballot, raising a simple two-word question:

Now what?

No one knows, which is why you keep hearing about Arnold Schwarzenegger, who isn’t even sure he’s interested in leaving Hollywood.

So to recap, Republicans have spent months gathering signatures to recall Davis, and their best hope to replace him is an actor who appears butt naked in “Terminator 3,” has no experience, no platform and no known agenda.

If that’s what it takes, I’m willing to star in “Terminator 4,” and I’ll even show my own naked butt.

Yes, it’s a fine mess California finds itself in, and the only answer is to join the hundreds of people who have already signed on to the S. Lo for Governor campaign. Not only has Democratic campaign guru Garry South offered his advice, but now I’m getting pointers from Republican strategist Arnie Steinberg, as well.

I should stand back and let the other candidates beat up on each other, Steinberg advised, and then point out that I was writing about public policy back when Arnold was curling dumbbells.

If I accomplish nothing else in Sacramento, I promise a petition to put a 10-year moratorium on petitions.

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Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve.lopez@latimes. com.