No Offense, but Evans Doesn’t Seem to Get It

So what do the Lakers do, they need a “Glove” in their lineup, and they go get Gary Payton -- eight days before they can officially sign him to a contract.

The Dodgers, meanwhile, need a “Bat,” a spark, a jolt to their lineup with the season slipping away, and they plod forward -- a dead team walking toward a July 31 trading deadline that doesn’t look as if it will mean a thing when it arrives.

Mark this date on the calendar: July 8, 2003 -- the Dodgers officially became a full-fledged embarrassment. They were swept for the second time in two weeks by the last-place Padres, and outscored in two games here, 15-6, with three of the Dodger runs scoring only because of San Diego errors.

The way these guys are playing baseball, Payton swinging a bat and glaring at the pitcher would be an upgrade to the Dodger collection of lead-off stiffs who have hit .185 over the last 15 games. Why not play this farce out and put a bat in the Glove’s hands now that Dodger management has opted to throw this season away?

The Dodgers were tied for first place with the Giants on June 21, and then began to disintegrate. Everyone witnessed it. Brian Jordan got hurt. Dave Roberts got hurt. Fred McGriff got old and hurt. One lackluster game after another. Thirteen losses in the last 15 games.

The Dodgers needed help, and management responded by giving the Micro Manager a cast of rejects who couldn’t hit.

You try to make a living deciding whether to send Daryle Ward or Larry Barnes to the plate to bat for Chad Hermansen.

Everyone witnessed it, the Dodgers’ inability to hit, to score runs, but instead of making something happen, General Manager Dan Evans responded with a smug smile as if he knew something no one else did.

And if there’s any doubt, ask Evans, and he’ll tell you he knows more than anyone else.

The Dodgers needed a bat, a spark, a jolt and Evans gave everyone a lecture on the need to keep team strategy a secret like no one knows the Dodgers can’t hit, no one wants Andy Ashby and the team has an overload of quality pitching, which makes Paul Shuey the man most likely to go. Maybe he’ll get to play for a contender.

If you earned your living being in charge of making something happen, and all around you everything was falling apart while you did nothing, how long would you last before being called to task? Would you get away with just grinning?

“We’re trying to do everything we can to improve this team,” he said, and unless he’s talking about the power of positive thinking, I have no idea what he’s talking about.

How many games do you have to watch to know there isn’t enough offensive juice in this lineup to squeeze out any hope of better days ahead?

For the last two weeks Evans has talked about the need for the present roster to produce, and while everyone waits on Shawn Green, who beyond Shawn Green? Adrian Beltre, Alex Cora, Cesar Izturis, Wilkin Ruin?

Not exactly the heart of the Yankee lineup.

The Dodgers don’t have enough quality hitters, and with injuries to Jordan, McGriff and Roberts, Evans had further reason to react and provide something more than the Las Vegas 51s roster.

“It’s usually the All-Star break before teams determine where they are and what they’re going to do and so I’ll have some of my key staff there for a few days to see what’s going on,” Evans said, and by then the Dodgers could be 13 1/2 games behind the Giants if I’ve done the math correctly -- and sitting in fourth place.

Night after night this team stinks. It’s not only an inability to hit, but catching the ball has also become a difficult task, and running the bases -- a lost art if you hit like the Dodgers -- has also become another way to self-destruct. There’s no hope lurking in the corners of the Dodger clubhouse. Mike Kinkade just struck out.

I blame this on the Dodger GM. It’s his job to provide a spark, a jolt when nothing else is working.

I mean what is he doing all day?

“We’re on the telephone all day long,” Evans said, and I had two teenagers like that, and I know how much they accomplished.

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I ARRIVED at Qualcomm Stadium four hours before game time and saw a minivan parked at the entrance with two fans sitting in lawn chairs waving to everyone. A sign on the side of the truck said, “Go Padres,” alongside another that read: “Welcome Frank & Barbara.”

So it has come to this, I thought, excited Padres fans just waiting for the Dodgers to arrive and chalk up another victory.

I checked with Frank & Barbara and they said they are there all the time, and not just because the lousy Dodger hitters were in town.

“We don’t really like it when the Dodgers come to town,” Frank said. “They’ve got noisy, nasty fans. We had to move our seats last night because of the screaming guys behind us.”

I had to ask, of course: By any chance was one of those guys the Dodger general manager?

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Brandon Angel:

“Call me crazy, but aren’t the fans the most important people in any sport. Without the fans there is no baseball, football, basketball. Paul Lo Duca should shut his mouth, and never call the fans, ‘pathetic.’ I am 18 years old, and I’ll tell you this much -- there are those of us out there who are barely surviving, and what takes my mind off my troubles is watching the Dodgers. It makes me sad because these guys really don’t know how lucky they are to be paid millions to play sports.”

And just think how much they would want to be paid if they could hit the ball.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com